Friday, November 21, 2014
The speech that Obama meant to give.
Apparently someone found a discared copy of his first draft of last night's speech in the white House trash can:
Kenyans Mexicans Americans. Today marks a historic day when I can finally reward millions of people who, in defiance of our laws and the wishes of the American people, snuck into our country illegally and began applying for welfare, putting their kids in our schools at US taxpayer expense, using our hospitals as free clinics, stealing American workers' identities, driving without licenses or insurance on our roads and taking jobs from countless low-income Americans who used to work in the construction, lawn care and hospitality industries. You people are essentially all thieves and parasites who believe that our laws should not apply to you and that you are owed a living supported by our taxpayers because of some real or imagined slight that might have happened to your ancestors generations ago. Well I've got news for you, and that's that these are the very values and ideals of the Democrat Party today and I'm proud to welcome you out of the shadows and promise you full citizenship and equality with those that you have been victimizing since you came into our nation. All I ask in return is that you register to vote and start backing for the political party that lavishes good stuff on you courtesy of someone else who has more than you do, and if you'll do that, there's no limit to how far this gravy train will take you and any of your friends and relatives who might want to sneak over our border tomorrow and join you here. All they need to do is pretend that they were here five years ago, just as many of you will now do, and it'll free cake and tacos forever! Oh--and pay no attention to all of those unskilled black people whose jobs you are going to take once I give you all work permits. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Vote REPUBLICAN? Don't make me laugh. Even if they did, it's not like I care what Congress wants or does. I mean, they just represent and speak for peons, and I, Barack Obama, am the leader and sole decider of what will or will not happen in this country. Besides, it's not as if I plan on allowing another election anyway. Not after that last one where the ungrateful voters tossed most of my party out of office. See if I let that happen again. Just remember, all you Mexicans new Americans, I am your patron and I'll do all of the thinking and planning for everyone from now on.