Friday, November 21, 2014

The speech that Obama meant to give.

Apparently someone found a discared copy of his first draft of last night's speech in the white House trash can:


"My fellow Kenyans Mexicans Americans. Today marks a historic day when I can finally reward millions of people who, in defiance of our laws and the wishes of the American people, snuck into our country illegally and began applying for welfare, putting their kids in our schools at US taxpayer expense, using our hospitals as free clinics, stealing American workers' identities, driving without licenses or insurance on our roads and taking jobs from countless low-income Americans who used to work in the construction, lawn care and hospitality industries. You people are essentially all thieves and parasites who believe that our laws should not apply to you and that you are owed a living supported by our taxpayers because of some real or imagined slight that might have happened to your ancestors generations ago. Well I've got news for you, and that's that these are the very values and ideals of the Democrat Party today and I'm proud to welcome you out of the shadows and promise you full citizenship and equality with those that you have been victimizing since you came into our nation. All I ask in return is that you register to vote and start backing for the political party that lavishes good stuff on you courtesy of someone else who has more than you do, and if you'll do that, there's no limit to how far this gravy train will take you and any of your friends and relatives who might want to sneak over our border tomorrow and join you here. All they need to do is pretend that they were here five years ago, just as many of you will now do, and it'll free cake and tacos forever! Oh--and pay no attention to all of those unskilled black people whose jobs you are going to take once I give you all work permits. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Vote REPUBLICAN? Don't make me laugh. Even if they did, it's not like I care what Congress wants or does. I mean, they just represent and speak for peons, and I, Barack Obama, am the leader and sole decider of what will or will not happen in this country. Besides, it's not as if I plan on allowing another election anyway. Not after that last one where the ungrateful voters tossed most of my party out of office. See if I let that happen again. Just remember, all you Mexicans new Americans, I am your patron and I'll do all of the thinking and planning for everyone from now on.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Jay Leno backs out on SHOT show.

Anyone who was expecting to see Jay Leno at January's Shooting, Hunting and Outdoor Trade (SHOT) show in Las Vegas might well want to make other plans for that night, because he just backed out after the gun-hating harpies began to harrass him.

Jay Leno cancels gig for pro-gun group located near Sandy Hook Elementary School after victim’s daughter speaks out

This time, the issue blew up when professional victim Erica Lafferty, who is now riding her fifteen minutes of fame for all it's worth since her mother, Dawn Hochsprung, was killed by deranged psycho Adam Lanza at Sany Hook Elementary School, decided unilaterally that Jay Leno should not be speaking to other Americans who do not share her extremist anti-gun point of view. She began agitating and holding press conferences and the Leno camp folded and backed out, pretended not to know that the National Shooting Sports Foundation that hosts the SHOT show was about...wait for it...shooting.
“Jay was asked to do what was positioned as a sportsman show, and when he found out it was a pro gun lobby show, he cancelled,” Leno’s spokesman Bruce Bobbins [said].
Yeah, ok. Whatever. If you're going to back out because a handful of hysterical women and liberal girly-men start wringing their hands, that's your choice. But please don't insult us by saying that you didn't know what the event was about.

Of course Lafferty had to get her plug in for her fellow gun-haters:
Lafferty urged Leno to take his cues from fellow comedians Sarah Silverman, “Tim & Eric” star Tim Heidecker and recent “Tonight Show” guest Kurt Braunohler who performed Tuesday night in Los Angeles at a benefit for Moms Demand Action and Everytown.org, the gun safety banning group backed by former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
First of all, I had to scratch my head and ask who two of those gun-hating "comedians" even are. Silverman I've heard of, but she's about as funny as dog vomit on a white rug because she continually confuses her extremist liberal political ideology with the comedy that she's paid to do, which is why over half of America changes the station every time she comes on the TV. Frankly, if those three are the best that the anti-gun/anti-freedom/anti-Constitution Left can come up with, I can't get that worried about them. I mean, our side still has the Founding Fathers and the Constitution on our side, plus a few A-list celebrities of our own if that's actually what sways people these days.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Ferguson countdown

It's coming. The actual verdict is just a formality at this point, as numerous no-job-having unwashed scum have been staying in the Ferguson area for months salivating over the thought of engaging in an orgy or violence, theft and destruction. No matter what the Grand Jury decides, these fools aren't going to leave without the climax that they've been eagerly awaiting. In fact, one of their leaders recently admitted on TV that he doesn't care what the facts are and it doesn't matter if Officer Wilson was jusitifed or not--if there's no indictment, they're going to attack. Period.

There aren't decent citizens protesting an injustice; these are hooligans, theives and opportunistic criminals and they deserve no respect and no quarter given if they step off. At this point, I'd be fine with the police and the national guard using live ammunition against them. "Pacify them with buck and ball" if that's what it takes to restore order and protect the decent local people and their property.

Sadly, they don't let me be in charge of such things. Pity, because the airstrikes and artillery that I'd call in on massed targets would be totally awesome.

On a somewhat more restrained platform, Mas Ayoob suggests using fire trucks to soak the criminals, an especially appealing tactic if the temps stay below freezing.

OK, maybe I could go with that as a fallback. Or just having helicopters fly over and showering them with soap and job applications. Those things always make wanna-be anarchists and millenial Obama supporters run away shrieking.

Heck, if the powers that be won't take my advice and use napalm, they should at least consider some bucket-equipped trash trucks.


Oh, and to the anonymous cowards offering $5K for Officer Darren Wilson's location, he's at Lagniappe's Lair. Come on over, bitches. The watchdogs've got something for ya.
"All set for protesters, Boss!"

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Now this is funny to me.

Apparently while chronic outsider-turned-troublemaker Elizabeth Vega was leading a rally against the police near Ferguson, MO last night, one of her fellow travelers traveled off with her car.

Ferguson Protest Leader Has Car Stolen During “F*ck the Police” Rally

So now I wonder who she'll call to file the report--the very police that she was just cursing at?
Maybe they'll make a deal with her and consider trying to find her car for her if she promises to leave Ferguson and go back home. Or maybe they'll suggest that she go to Mexico and protest real police corruption.

Nah. Her and her kind don't want actual risk, and there won't be as many TV cameras down there for their self-glorification. Mass-media attention without any real danger, even if there's no good reason for it and no foreseeable accomplishment. That's just how the (un)American Left rolls...or in Vega's case, since her car was "redistributed", that's how they walk.

PETA activists steal dog from family's porch and kill it.

So over in Virginia's eastern shore last month, a family's Chihuahua disappeared. A check of the family's video system showed two women running up on the porch, grabbing the dog, and driving away with it in a van marked PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals--a lunatic-fringe group that claims that all animals are the equal of any human). Three days later, two women from PETA show up on the family's doorstep with a fruit basket and tell them that their dog was euthanized. They never explained why or offered an excuse for going onto the family's porch to take their dog.

Man claims PETA stole, killed family pet.

The sheriff brought criminal charges against the pair, but the county prosecutor refused to go forward with the case, so the two women who stole the dog--and the organization that they work for--are apparently off the hook. Meanwhile, this family is without their dog and their daughter is without her companion. But hey--they got a nice fruit basket out of the deal, right?

PETA accused of snatching a pet dog from family's front yard, driving it away and then KILLING it - before returning with a fruit basket to apologize

Now in fairness, there are two sides to every issue, but PETA's continued refusal to give their side strongly suggests that even they know that what they did was seriously wrong.

Hey PETA loons...if you come by here, there are often two docile, cuddly dogs out on the front deck just waiting for someone to come and steal them and kill them. Stop by any time, and if the black one in particular acts like he's about to rip your face off, he's just goofing you. Pay no mind and walk right up on the deck, move the gate, and reach out to the nice, trusting stealable dogs. I'll be around later to tell anyone looking for you that you were never here.

You see, there's a name out in rural America for people who get caught going on other people's property to commit crimes or to impose liberalism on the unwilling...we call them "missing persons".

Like the song says:

Once two strangers climbed old Rocky Top,
looking for a moonshine still dogs to steal and kill.
Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top,
reckon they never will.


Oh--and the rest of the PETA loons wouldn't be much safer in their office building after a stunt like that, and that's a fact.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Ferguson, Mo. verdict coming

The Grand Jury verdict is coming out this week. The usual suspects are salivating over the thought of looting more liquor stores and hair care emporiums and outsiders by the busload are heading in just to scream and throw things at police. Obama, the "great uniter" himself, has met with some of the mob leaders, and rather that talk them down, he's encouraged them to "stay the course".
And the police and the National Guard are getting set to go into harm's way to protect the few good people who are left.

In a stunning display of arrogance, the leftist mob leaders have demanded that the police adhere to a set of rules that the mob leaders decided among themselves, rules that guarantee that the mayhem will not be quelled and the guilty will not be punished. And I for one do not want to see that sort of capitulation by the police. The police are the good guys here and I want the good guys to win. I'm all about the First Amendment and free speech, but the moment that the knuckle-draggers and the trust-fund anarchists start getting violent or destructive, I want to see the police come down on them in a fashion that would win the approval of Bull Connors himself. I want them to fall on these hooligans so hard that the Israeli army and the South African police will be shocked and impressed. I want every single scumbag who throws a bottle or a rock or busts a window to leave the area with injuries and a criminal conviction, and when convicted, I want to see them go to a prison where the staff consider Brubaker and The Shawshank Redemption to be training films. I want to see them go to one of Sheriff Joe Arpaio's tent city jails.

Anything less sends the message that we as a society will tolerate the kind of crap that they've been pulling for months, and that message will only encourage more of this sort of lawlessness. But if these punks are put down so hard that their dead ancestors feel the beat-down in whatever "great beyond" that they've gone to, then maybe we'll see at least a partial swing back towards civility and respect for one another, because if basic morality isn't enough to make people act nicely towards one another these days, maybe we need a return to good old-fashioned justice that really hurts and makes would-be bad actors fear the consequences of their planned criminal behavior.

Stay safe and keep the peace, cops and guardsmen. Respect the rights of all to peaceably assemble and speak out, but if they break bad, bust their heads wide open.

Woken by the Belle

It's morning again.

How do I know? Because at the first hint of the dawn, Miss Memphis Belle gets up from her dog bed, gently glides over to the side of my bed, then leaps up, plants her front paws on my bed, and commences to lick my face. When I push her away, she begins batting at me (inevitably striking me in the face) and making her happy "Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar....." noise that is normally cute but when you're half asleep and planning to sleep in, it's like fingernails on a blackboard combined with an air raid siren.
A loud "NO!" and a good shove gets her to stop and she goes back to her dog bed, but a minute or two later, the first time that I so much as turn my head to look at the clock, she gets up, runs over, and starts it all over again. This continues until I finally get up.

Meanwhile, on his dog bed, Murphy is still comfortably curled up, snickering.
So I get up, let the dogs out, put their breakfast in their dishes, let them in (standing back from the doorway to avoid the pre-breakfast stampede) and then they gobble their food and GO BACK TO BED!

Now I'm the only one in the house that's still up and awake, and I'm the only one that really planned to sleep in until a reasonably decadent time. These two idiots, on the other hand, will sleep until dinnertime.

All I'm saying is that hamsters don't do this sort of stuff every morning.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Effing Deer...

Well what to follow up on last night's commute with? Obviously we need to go to the other extreme this morning, as I'm driving down a remote mountain 2-lane road at zero-dark-thirty. Suddenly, without so much as even a courtesy wave, Bambi's dad runs out of the woods and jumps down off of a rock ledge right into the roadway ahead of me, close enough that the impact came before I even got my foot down on the brake. WHAM!!!

Great. Just great.

I banged a U-turn and went back to find a good-sized four-point buck lying right next to the road, obviously dying but still trying to get back to his feet to flee. But his neck appeared broken and he wasn't going to ever get up again, so I did the only humane thing I could--I drew my pistol and sent him on his way. Then I called the Sheriff's Dept. and told them who I was and what I'd just done. As expected, they had no problem with it, and certain protocols have to be followed.

The damage to my Jeep was incredibly light as far as I could tell in the dark, appearing to consist of just a dent on the corner of the hood where his head snapped over and antlered it. That came as a surprise as the last couple that I've hit have practically demolished the front end of whatever I was driving at the time. (Yeah, I average one every couple of years.) But it looks like I just caught this fella in the neck. Looking back now, I wish that I'd called in sick today and dragged the deer home for some field-dressing and then found a good local processor.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda... Now I'm pissed because:
A.) I played a part in destroying a beautiful creature for no reason; and:
B.) all that meat went to waste.

The dented hood is just icing on the cake.

Hope your days all go better than this one's starting to.

Another drive from Hell...

Last night. Sat on I-270 forever because ONE PERSON cannot drive a car well enough to be in traffic with the rest of us. An hour-long commute became two and a half hours because ONE PERSON drove her car (It had to be a her...it just had to.) into the back of a mini-van. The damage really didn't look that bad, but of course someone in our whiner culture demanded an ambulance, so the highway got funneled down to one lane (instead of four) as a fire truck sat idle, blocking traffic for that ambulance. And tens of thousands of people had to pay because this ONE PERSON could not drive.

This is the third time in two weeks that this has happened to me, all in the same stretch of road.

Aargh.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Just a blah day...so here:

Watch a dog fly a biplane. I got nothing better.

Well that went worse that I'd expected.

The other evening, while out for a walk with Murphy and Belle, I stopped by Proud Hillbilly's house to visit her and see how her new cat was doing. I liked this cat and had briefly entertained thoughts of bringing it back to the Lair and adding it to the family. But I was pretty sure that Murphy was just not going to play nice with a cat.

Sure enough, when I had the dogs on a leash, PH brought the cat out. Belle was mildly curious but didn't seem to be too aggressive as PH held the cat but it was obvious that Murphy's prey drive was kicking in big time. He really wanted that cat and I couldn't see that cute, sweet gentle cat doing well in a house with Murphy. But neither could the cat, apparently. He hissed loudly and the claws came out as he took a swipe at Murphy; it hadn't even dawned on me that the CAT might object, too.

Oh well...it was a thought.

Monday, November 10, 2014

He was a shocking bright kid, but only until they turned the power off.

When it's late and you're drunk and there's no nearby Denny's to go hang out at, what do you do? Well Brian McClellan sure found a way to light up the night in Connecticut.

Model catches fire atop commuter train

A model and actor was badly disfigured and fighting for his life after catching fire when he climbed atop a Manhattan-bound Metro-North train on Sunday, law-enforcement sources said.
A train crew found Brian McClellen, 21, on fire on the roof of the New Haven line train shortly before 5:10 a.m. in Riverside, Conn., an MTA spokesman said.
The train, which runs on overhead electrical wires, had lost power. The workers had gone up to find out why.
Video taken at the Stamford rail station shows an apparently intoxicated McClellen climbing on top of the train, a source said.
Investigators believe the victim, who lives near Union Square, was burned after a coming in contact with the train’s pantograph, which collects power from the 12,500 volts in the wires.
The crew used an extinguisher to put out the flames atop the sixth car...
His family described him as determined and talented.
Not exactly the words that I'd use, but ok. I'd use adjectives like "thoughtless" and "stupid", but that's just me, I guess.

According to this story, he was on the roof of the train attempting skateboard tricks:

Skateboard daredevil, 21, fighting for life after he caught fire riding New York City-bound train when he collided with electrical wire

I hope the kid survives this, but I also say that there needs to be laws prohibiting people like this from suing the railroads when they defy common sense and bypass the numerous signs, barricades and other devices intended to prevent just such an occurrence. No one else should have to pay for this kid's poor decision-making.

Saturday, November 08, 2014

P-51 Mustang makes gear-up landing

A P-51D made an emergency belly landing the other day when it's landing gear failed to extend.
Makes you wanna cry. (Apology for the commerical.)

CBS 5 - KPHO
At least it looks like the pilot cut the engine before the prop hit the runway. That should have at least saved the crankshaft and the engine.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Reflections on a traffic jam

Driving home last night, I passed the flashing sign above the highway announcing a car crash ten miles ahead.

What kind of moron manages to crash their car on a same-direction, limited-access highway where everyone is going the same way at roughly the same speed? You have to be some sort of special stupid to do that, I'm thinking. But then, with nine and a half miles to go, I ran into the back-up from that crash. And with no easy way around, I was forced to sit in the back-up, inching forward and hating that inconsiderate crash driver, for over an hour.

An hour to go ten miles. To say that I was pissed doesn't begin to describe it.

Of course by that time, the problem was made worse by several secondary crashes where other people sitting in that back-up were rear-ended at incredibly low speeds but still decided to keep their cars sitting in the traffic lane--usually a middle lane--while the rest of us had to manuever around them. That stupidity made things a dozenn times worse for people trying to just get home, and my throat is still sore from yelling at them all.

If you crashed your car on I-270 in Maryland yesterday and someone drove by and called you a "Non-driving dumbass", that was me.

As I crept along at a walking pace for that hour, I was reminded of the big snowstorm here back in 2010 that trapped so many people in the city or in their cars as roads became impassable, chiefly due to other peoples' stuck and abandoned cars. This served as a reminder that those of us who commute into the big cities for work may well be making one-way trips should some major incident or catastrophe strike while we're down there. Driving out in a panic with hundreds of thousand of other people choking the roads and blocking them with crashes? Probably not going to work. Once a few roads get blocked by crashes--and they will as thousands of panickers all get behind the wheel at once--the gridlock will expand and lock the surrounding roads down within minutes. During the big snow, I actually saw people fist-fighting in gas station lines, and that was just for a heavy snowfall. What do you think that people will do when the power's all out and there's rumors (or the actual detonation of) of a dirty bomb or disease epidemic raging?

This is why I never head down into the city without at least half a tank of gas in my truck. And it's why I have a plan to get out of the city and get home that doesn't involve driving my vehicle, and a back-up plan in case that one becomes impractical. I WILL get home, even if I have to walk out, and that's why there's a pack in the back of my truck with enough supplies for three days of hiking and sleeping out. I have food, a change of clothes, a good medical kit, an empty camelbak water pouch and water filtration gear, a poncho and liner, a compass and a good map of the area between work and home. And weapons. I have no intention of being easy prey once the thin veneer of civilization cracks. My plan is simply to get home, come what may, and then bunker down and subsist off of the supplies that I've got set aside already. I won't be out looking for trouble or victimizing others, but I don't intend to BE victimized, either.

I won't go into details on my plans, but I figure that even at worst case, walking all the way from the farthest place that I routinely work, I'll be back home in 2 days. (Hopefully the dogs and/or a couple of trusted neighbors will hold down the fort until then.) But I should be able to find some mode of transportation, be it motorcycle, bicycle, horse or pogo stick, in which case, I'll be back within twenty-four hours. I constantly re-evaluate the plan, especially my egress routes, but the important thing is that I actually have a plan. A few of my friends and neighbors who also work down that way have similar pans (not surprisingly) but a number of my neighbors that I've spoken to causally do not, and it's them that I feel sorry for if the bad times do catch us all downtown. On the upside, that'll probably be fewer people coming over here to see if I've got any spare food (no, I don't) or wanting to hook into my generator.

How about you? Got a contingency plan for emergencies that catch you away from your home, assuming that your home is your chosen safe place?

Oh--and come the real emergency, since many people likely will be forced from their homes in the urban areas and since there is safety in numbers, my welcome mat will be out for those of you who know where to find me. (If you've been to one of the blogshoots here, you're probably on that list.) Just bring some groceries if you can manage it, ok?