This is it...my big chance

I was perusing a discussion forum for amputees the other day when I saw a posting announcing that the people who film the TV show Law and Order are looking for some amputee extras to star in an upcoming episode. Well darn it, I qualify for that. So I e-mailed the people and they e-mailed and called back asking for pictures of me. I sent them several--most with Lagniappe in them because every time I set my camera up on timer and took up my pose, he wandered into the frame just before the camera went off.

Well they just called me back a few hours ago and told me that they'd gotten the pictures and that they'd let me know by Monday if I was going to get the part. If selected, I have to be in NYC on Wednesday. But that's cool--I haven't been to New York in a while and it could be a fun trip.

it could also be my big break. You see, I'm sure that once I'm on the set, I'll get discovered and wind up with a contract to go to Hollywood, where I'll star as leading man in many action movies and wind up with numerous stunningly attractive leading ladies and starlets pursuing me. Heck, John Wayne and Humphrey Bogart are gone, Clint Eastwood's gotten soft, and Chuck Norris is getting old. It's time for a new action hero...one who stands tall, talks straight, and punches or shoots dozens of bad guys, all while using a prosthetic leg. I will get a really cool new signature line, like: "Don't make me take this foot off and go upside your head with it."

Yeah, if all goes well, this time next year I'll be living in Malibu with Hollywood's hottest actresses mud-wrestling in my front yard for the privilege of starring in my next picture and cooking my breakfast every morning. Someone please tell Traci Bingham and Halle Berry that I like my eggs over easy and my bacon crispy...