Unionizing Starbucks? Get a life.

So here we go again, with another episode of "As the Attention Whore Turns". This one comes from the Washington Post and it's about a wanna-be Socialist law student named Daniel Gross who is so invested in showing everyone how smart and important that he is (one might call him a typical law student in that regard)that he's waging a jihad against Starbucks, claiming that the coffee shops are too repressive for the workers. He brags of organizing pickets against the chain because they fired or threatened to fire his co-workers for whatever reason. Not surprisingly, they fired him too.

Now anyone else who doesn't truly believe that the world owes him a living would get up and move on, hopefully learning from his mistakes as he gets another job or goes back to the parents that are undoubtedly paying his tuition and begs for a raise in his allowance. But law schools are chock full of self-aggrandizing spoiled kids who really think that they matter and that they can change the world. And Danny here is no exception. Rather than accept the consequences of his actions, he starts a campaign to unionize Starbucks--a place where he doesn't even work or have a stake any more--complaining that they have "too many rules" that cover how employees have to perform their jobs. And instead of teaming up with a real union, he runs off and finds some remnants of the International Workers of the World (IWW)--a purely Socialist organization that realistically ceased to be taken seriously in the 1920's.

I'm laughing at the little goober for a number of reasons.

I remember when I was a mere law student. I thought that I was an awesome power too. But really all I managed to do was annoy a couple of landlords, UPS and a car rental company. And I learned that judges and court staff aren't impressed by law students on crusades--even third-year law students. I also got fired from a job for trying to unionize a factory once. But at least it wasn't some coffee shop built around serving coffee with part-time labor. It was a real factory where people did real work and had a chance of riding it our for thirty years to a pension. I learned real quick how the union organizers are your best friends until the actual vote goes south, at which time they drop you like a hot rock, wish you good luck in your next job, and stop taking your phone calls. (I haven't forgotten, United Auto Workers!) But looking back, I can say with pride that I learned quite a bit about business and unions, and I moved on and upwards to better jobs as a result of my firing. Maybe someday Danny will look back on this too, and kick himself in the ass sfor looking like such a public bozo in the Post. IWW? Come on, kid. But in the meantime, I'll pass on a bit of sage advice to him and anyone else who thinks that just because you fill out a job application for a menial part-time spot in a national chain, that somehow the Corporate Board of Directors owes you somethingmore than $9.00 and hour:

1. If you don't like the rules that your employer sets down, quit and go start your own place just like they once did. Open your own coffee shop. Then you can be the boss and make the rules.

2. Remember that Starbucks did not approach you and beg you to work in their store. You asked them for a job, and they gave you one. Be grateful for what you get and if you don't like it, see #1.

3. The world's not impressed with smarmy brat kids who agitate against their employers. You may not believe this now, but wait until you start applying for real jobs and prospective employers start to Google your name. You'll see.

Danny says that he's fighting to get his Starbucks job back. Well keep trying, son. Because with this stunt on your resume, you'll be lucky to get anything much more impressive for a while.