Peace on Earth...but first shoot these losers.

OK, I'm just back from my first foray into the Christmas shopping maelstrom (I decided to start early this year) and in the process, I've come up with the beginning of a list of people who need to be shot for their thoughtless and downright idiotic behavior.

First is that person who drives past the long, long line of cars waiting to turn into a mall parking lot, only to stop at the very head of that line and put his or her turn signal on with the expectation that someone will let him/her just cut in front of all those people who have been waiting.

Then there's that inevitable milquetoast who actually lets the above-mentioned turd burglar in. WTF is wrong with you?! If it weren't for saps like you there wouldn't be people like the ones above.

Then there are those people who just sit in their cars with the engines running and no intention at all of getting out of their cars or moving them from parking spots in very crowed mall lots. Who are all of you and why are you in these lots just sitting in your running cars? Is this some sort of club initiation or are you just sick and twisted people?

And special mention goes to the morbidly obese woman in sweats who parks a full shopping cart in the grocery store checkout line then leaves her slack-jawed teenage son to watch it while she waddles off to buy more high-calorie food that she doesn't need. Of course she doesn't leave the kid any money to pay for the stuff that he loads onto the conveyor belt, and you know she's not hurrying back, so the rest of the people in line who actually waited to check out until they had everything that they wanted now have to sit there and wait for her to come back with--I kid you not--a big pail of ice cream.

I'm gonna expand the last one to include all morbidly obese people who wear sweats out in public, if only because that particular one warranted more than enough negative karma to overwhelm any one individual. So put it on all the fat people who go out in public looking like slobs.

Next is all the people who walked past the poor confused old man in the parking lot, ignoring his pleas to help him find his van. Some of us did eventually find it and get him and his cart over to it, but no thanks to you other canker sores who just blew him off.

Finally, there's that numbnuts who fills the gas tank on his white pickup truck and then after looking at the people waiting behind him to get to the gas pumps, goes inside--supposedly to pay--but doesn't come back out for almost ten minutes and then he's carrying a case of beer and a bag of grocery items. People who do that crap honestly deserve to be seriously beaten down by all the people who sat there waiting in line to get gas while he shopped.

Merry Christmas, but if you're one of those people, I hope that Santa Claus just squats over your chimney and takes a big dump.