Saturday, December 01, 2007

The perils of an ex-police dog pet

Those of you who regularly read this blog know about Lagniappe's heritage. For those who don't know him, he trained as a police dog but didn't quite make the final cut so he transitioned to house pet status. He had some real adjustment issues at first, but over the years he's mellowed out and for the most part, you'd never guess his background meeting him for the first time, at least so long as I'm present.

Today I got a reminder of what can happen when you a former police dog wants to play and you don't accede to his demands.

I was laying on my sofa watching Law and Order, the great cowboy movie starring Ronald Reagan. (Trivia note: The role of his younger brother James was played by Russell Johnson, better known as The Professor on Gilligan's Island. I'll never see that sitcom again without remembering how the Professor shot Ronald Reagan in the left shoulder.)

But back to Lagniappe. Poor, neglected, bored Lagniappe who just wanted to play. He let me know by standing in front of me to get me attention. Now I'm trying to watch the movie, so I reach out to push him aside. But as I go to shove him away, he brings a paw up and bats my hand aside. This too is fun for him but dammit, I'm trying to watch this movie. I love this movie and we're getting to the climax. I reflexively swipe at him again and he again parries my swat with a paw. Now mind you, he weighs 90lbs give or take so it's not like I'm dealing with a cocker spaniel. So now I go right for his chest to give him a solid push back, and I connect and drive him back a foot or two, but he lunges right back in and grabs my wrist firmly with his teeth, biting down hard enough to instantly get my attention. "Hey!" I holler at him as I try to pull my hand back. But he had hold of my wrist and the harder I pulled, the harder he pressed down on it. "Leggo, you sonofabitch!" I shouted at him.

But rather than let go, he began to back up, trying to pull me off the sofa. He wanted me on the floor to play with him and I found out--again--that there's no arguing with a German Shepherd who has a good compliance hold on your wrist.

Long story short, I wound up on the floor and missed part of the movie while I wrestled and scrapped with Lagniappe. He got a few more "playful" bites in and left me with a few claw marks too before it was over, and now hours later, I'm still feeling several of them and asking myself why I didn't just get a damned ferret instead.

2 comments:

  1. Wow- nothing like dealing with a dog who's firmly convinced he knows what he's doing.

    I ain't going to complain next time I try to go swimming and one of the Newfs decides I need rescuing and tries to push me back to shore.

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  2. lol. Sounds like what Kira does to me when I won't pay enough attention to her. I should have never taught her to "attack" in the first place. But, heck, she needs to get tougher as she licks too many people to death. I want her to actually be somewhat of a guard dog - but I doubt it will ever happen! She loves everybody and everything way too much. She is really good with her nose, though, so maybe I will have her professionally trained for tracking/search&rescue when she is older. Who knows.....

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