You all know the Darwin Awards--the contest where you win if you kill yourself in the stupidest way, thus removing yourself from the gene pool and protecting mankind as a species. Well here we have another candidate in the form of Mindy Jordan, recently from New Jersey. Mindy, it seems, was on a cruise ship heading for the Bahamas when--in rough weather--she apparently decided to climb from one outside balcony to another. Mindy's trick didn't come off as planned, I'm guessing, as she plummeted into the water and avoided being found despite a seven-hour search by the cruise ship and the US Coast Guard. Now this is something that one might expect from a drunken college boy, but Mindy was 46 years old, presumably old enough to know better. I'd be willing to wager a bet that alcohol was more likely than not a factor.
And the "Close, but no cigar" award goes to Jorge Espinal from Dallas, Texas, for his creative use of a gun as an impromptu backscratcher. Jorge, age 44, (also old enough to know better) was drinking beer and playing poker around 3 a.m. Sunday in his home in the 3500 block of Montague Street, when he got up from the table and walked into another room, said Fort Worth police Lt. Kenneth Dean.
“He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which was a revolver,” Lt. Dean said. “The gun went off."
Jorge will live, therefore he's at least temporarily ineligible for the Darwin Award. All I can say is that it's a pity for the gene pool that he didn't try to scratch his privates with that pistol. That would have at least kept him from contaminating the gene pool with young and equally-stupid progeny.
Update on the "Swan-diving Mindy" case. Video cameras caught the fall and the family suspects the boyfriend did it.
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