CHARLESTON, W.Va. – Elementary school playgrounds in one West Virginia county are losing their swing sets.When will it ever end?
Swings are being removed from Cabell County schools in southern West Virginia in part because of lawsuits over injuries.
Cabell County schools safety manager Tim Stewart said Wednesday that a lot of parents are accusing him of being un-American, but he says the cost of maintaining a safe surface is too expensive.
Stewart says a lawsuit in the past year involved a youngster who broke his arm jumping off a swing like Superman. It was settled for $20,000.
Other equipment such as monkey bars will remain. Stewart says the schools are able to maintain the proper protection underneath them.
When I was a kid, swing sets existed solely to launch us into low-earth orbit and you only really got hurt if you wussed out at the last second and landed wrong. Sure you got a few scrapes and bruises even if you did it perfectly, but all that really mattered was that you flew far in front of as many witnesses as possible and got to your feet again unassisted and without crying.
But back then, we were All-American kids all trying to be like Neil Armstrong, sans Apollo rocket. Our All-American parents warned us to be careful and when we got hurt, told us that it was our own fault for being so stupid. They weren't cousin-dating single-moms who sit around with a cheap tort lawyer's number on their cell phone's speed-dial and go to bed every night dreaming of either a lotto win or a jackpot lawsuit that will set them up in style and let them buy the double-wide that'll make them the envy of the trailer park. Thanks to parents like this and the cheap tort lawyer who live off of them like the parasites that they are, one day we're going to look around and realize that we've raised a generation of milquetoastes with no ambition, no spirit and absolutely no willingness to defy the odds or accept a dare. The greatest "can-do" nation on Earth will have become France, and the Age of Men will truly be at an end for all time.