So this afternoon, while waiting to take care of some business in a government office, I happen to strike up a conversation with a pretty woman who is also waiting.
We chat. We laugh. She's witty, personable, a bit flirty...and did I mention pretty?
I got her name.
We talked a bit more, I found out that we've both spent some time in the same cities over the years and that she's a local business professional who loves German Shepherds. So then I asked her out tonight.
THAT is when I found out that she's married.
Granted, she had a ring on, but it was under the jacket she was holding and I couldn't see it.
Much as I enjoyed that half an hour, I'm thinking that there needs to be a law where a gal has to let a guy know within a minute or two if she's married or otherwise seeing someone, or maybe there needs to be some sort of unmistakable visible marker...like an "x" on the forehead if they're off the market.
What do you think, guys?
At least there's a ring.
ReplyDeleteOne of the cartoons I had in my office for a while was a pretty young thing sitting at a bar next to a distinguished gent. She's got somethign in her hand. The Captain? "Wow, this is my lucky night. First I meet you, a lonely wealthy oil baron with only two weeks to live and now I find this gold wedding ring in the peanut bowl!?
And for the record, if they say "I'm separated, I'm getting a divorce. . don't buy it". They usually aren't.
Back in the day when I was married and wore a 'honkin' big ring' it didn't stop the guys from hittin' on me. Who knows?
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm tired. That was caption.
ReplyDeleteSorry it didn't work out.
Well the signs go both ways. Rings do not stop the ones without morals. Or more precisely the guys that do not want to get shot by the husband DO pay attention to the ring! (In my humble experience around here anyway)
ReplyDeleteI learned to look for evidence of a ring before doing the name and story line of conversation when I was single.I'd converse with a married woman but with initial caution. Those who were single or divorced I did a learned to do a little background checking before asking them out. FWIW Brigid, I've seen more guy's pull that sick "Separated but not divorced for the children" and like line than women.
ReplyDeleteOh, +1 on what Brigid said about the separated thing. They ain't. And are not going to be.
ReplyDeleteLu has tattoed "Married" in bright red ink on my forehead and banned the wearing of hats.
ReplyDeleteRuh-roh!
ReplyDeleteJust chalk it up to staying in practice on your wooing and wowing skills.
But, yeah, I do agree that, either way, a party who's being chatted up bears some kind of duty of subtle disclosure. It's just good manners to spare someone embarrassment.
India does the whole dot on the forehead thing to denote married, maybe you're looking on the wrong sub-continent.
ReplyDeleteAh, the things I miss by being happily married to the love of my life!
ReplyDeleteBack when I was single, however, (30+ years ago) I ran into an almost identical situation. The woman's husband is today very well known and respected in his field; to his credit he got out of that marriage. I shall not embarrass him by giving details.
A proper lady would have kindly noted something such as, "My husband would love for us to have another big dog..." early in the convo in order to ease your ego and halt the progress.
ReplyDeleteThose are rare birds these days, though. Now, if you wanted to move to TX I might know someone... :)
I think it's easier for women since married men all have that "please shoot me" look on their face that gives them away.
ReplyDelete