So this evening, I'm taking a nap in my upstairs guest room, a favorite afternoon reading spot of mine. Murphy was in there with me earlier, but when I half woke up, I was vaguely aware of the fact that he was gone. I heard him drinking water off in the distance so naturally I deduced that he was in the kitchen enjoying a nice cool drink from his bowl. A few seconds later, I was brought wide awake by a dripping wet tongue on my face. Murphy was reaching across the guest bed to lay dog kisses on me.
"Aw, hi, Murphy...I like you too, but stop."
But he meant well, so it's not like I could mad at him for the face wash. But then I woke up a bit more and realized that I was upstairs and could never have heard him drinking from his bowl in the kitchen, and I didn't hear his paws as he climbed the stairs. So he must have been up here the whole time. What was he drinking?
Then it hit me. The guest bathroom. Big porcelain bowl right at muzzle level.
"Aw, hell! You damned dog! Ew!"
Shoulda just got a hamster three years ago. Hamsters don't do stuff like that.