For once, I side with the Russians.

So, a couple of weeks ago, those annoying self-appointed do-gooders known as Greenpeace got tired of bothering Americans and other industrialized European or Asian governments and businesses and decided to go board a Russian oil rig in Russian waters to get the attention that their parents never gave them as a form of protest. They actually hung off the side of the Russian platform for several hours despite efforts of the Russian crew to get them to leave, but finally the Russian crew captured two and drove the rest of them off.

No surprises here. This is what the Greenpests do. They bother people and disrupt things and then go around telling everyone what a great thing they've done. But this time, they messed with the wrong country. No sooner had they sailed away and began congratulating themselves then the Russian Coast Guard popped up and boarded their ship, taking it and all of them into custody.

Whoops!

Now the 30 Greenpests find themselves incarcerated in Russian jails awaiting trial after having been charged criminally, and now reality is sinking in on these poor, sheltered first-world wanna-be crusaders.

Greenpeace crew in 'shock' in Russian jails

So 30 special snowflakes are just now figuring out that jail isn't a fun place to be, particularly Russian jail.

"Many of them are in a state close to shock ... They had never expected that they would face such consequences for their peaceful protest in a democratic state."

Yeah, because whoever thought that the Russians would ever do anything harsher than give them a scolding and send them home after a snack of cookies and warm milk?

The foreign detainees are struggling to make themselves understood since virtually none of the prison staff speaks English."

Hmmmm. Sounds to me like an expected risk of getting locked up in a nation where a language other than English is spoken.

Several of the foreign nationals have been placed in cells with Russians. A Polish activist is sharing a cell with four Russians, while one of the British activists has two Russian cellmates, both accused of robbery.

Who did they expect to be imprisoned with? The Moscow University Glee Club?

Several non-smoking activists also complain of being placed in cells with chain-smokers.

Again: it's prison. In Russia. They smoke there and everyone knows it. So why the pretense of surprise and/or outrage?

Greenpeace spokesman Aaron Gray-Block said in e-mailed comments that several of the detained activists "need prescription medication".

"A number of others are taking over the counter medications such as paracetamol for problems such as mild arthritis and back pain," he said.

While I'm sure that most of Mommy's little snowflakes are on trendy ADHD drugs, I find it hard to believe that all of these twenty- and thirty-somethings who were all set to scale oil rigs just days ago are now semi-invalid cripples. However, I'm sure that if they have legitimate medical needs, even the Russians will give them basic care. But they really shouldn't expect too much more by way of luxury.

A young Finnish female activist is a vegan and unable to eat prison food, Paikacheva said, adding that prison officials had denied her request for vitamins to be delivered to her.

Actually she probably can eat the prison food. At present she just doesn't want to. I'm suspecting that this will change when she gets hungry enough.

"Our activists have been charged with a crime that did not happen. They are accused of an imaginary offense," Greenpeace International Executive Director Kumi Naidoo said Thursday.

Yeah, but they're being held in very real jail cells, and that kind of trumps any rhetoric now, doesn't it?

Maybe the rest of the Greenpests will remember this the next time that they decide to go attention-whoring, and they'll stick to bothering American corporations that won't do anything to them, or maybe those nice Israelis.

OK, maybe not them. They don't seem terribly soft and cuddly, either.