Thursday, September 18, 2014

Another Birthday, Mom? Really?

I never realized just how old my mom is until she came to visit last month. I took to an antique auction and three people bid on her.

This got me to thinking. I tried to figure out how old she was by looking at her driver's license, but it was in roman numerals. Her Social Security number was no help, either. It's "1".

But I did discover that my Mom is so old that:

--She has an autographed copy of the Bible.
--She has a book with pictures of the Founding Fathers in it...and it's her High School yearbook.
--Her first job was as a waitress at the Last Supper.
--Her first pet was a T-Rex.
--She still owes Michelangelo five dollars.
--Her initials are on three trees in the Petrified Forest.
--She was a hostess at the Boston Tea Party.

The other day, my mom was discussing the travails of getting older with two of her friends.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

My Mom responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood." She rapped her knuckles on the table and thddden said "Someone's at the door. I'll get it!"

Happy Birthday, Ma!

Aren't you glad now that you pointed out that I forgot to post about your birthday last year?

PS--There's a delivery going to be showing up at your place today, so don't wander off until it gets there, ok?


  1. So now . . . with your little cracks listed above . . . I gotta ask . . .

    Can she shoot???

    And . . . just how fast can you really run??? :)

    Give your mom my best!


  2. Oh she is so adorable. God bless her and wish her a happy b-day. She raised a good kid clearly, albeit a smart ass for sure. I bet ALL her wooden spoons were broken during YOUR youth. :-)
    Funny Stuff there!

  3. Anonymous10:18 AM


    Happy Birthday to your Mom!


  4. Hey Murphy,

    Liked the comments, you can also add " charter member of the Dirt Design team"
    Tell your mom we said " hi"

  5. You're a braver man than I. MUCH braver. ;-)

    1. Yeah, but only because she's 500 miles away by road and she won't drive that far.

  6. Happy Bday to your Mother! What Borepatch said.

  7. We kid those we truly love, best wishes to her.

  8. Anonymous1:00 PM

    Happy Birthday to your mom