Why is it always me?

So this afternoon, as I'm getting ready to leave work, my boss walks past me and says "Saudi King Abdullah is dead."

"Oh, really?" I reply.

"Yep. Guess it happened today. What do you know about it?"

"Hey, man," I said back. "I was here the whole day, and I got witnesses. Why are you people always suspecting me of stuff like this?"

The boss just shook his head and walked away.

My quarterly evaluations may not be the best, but they typically make for some interesting reading.