Don't mess with old vets

Up in New Hampshire, a savage (yeah, I said it) attacked a 95 year old man walking out of a pharmacy and tried to get his wallet. The man, a veteran of World War Two, beat the punk with his cane until others arrived to help, at which point the punk fled.

WWII vet, 95, fights off would-be robber with cane

Good for the old man. And hopefully the punk gets caught so that everyone can know him as the loser who took a beat-down from a man who is nearly a hundred years old.

I mean, that's like trying to rob Old NFO or something.

Of course if that happened, I think we all know how that news story would read the next day.

Street gang found shot to death in Northern Virginia

Authorities are still trying to piece together exactly what happened when a dozen MS-13 gang members were shot this morning. Witnesses report that they accosted a man as he was walking out of the Crimean War Veteran's Social Club, and when he refused to turn over his wallet, they attacked him and he shot them all down in the street. Police report that twelve known gang members were killed in this incident, and each was found with two closely-centered .45-caliber holes in his chest.
"It was like one of those Matrix movies," a stunned witness told this reporter. "He was just shooting and reloading and shooting some more...he went to town on those robbers like Jerry Miculek on a bad day!"

This reporter tried to interview the old man, identified by others as Old NFO, but he had nothing to say except this:

"I don't know what this word's coming to when you can't even come into town to lift a glass or two without something like this happening. Do they think that .45 hollow-points grow on trees? I'm on a fixed income here."

The old man left shortly afterwards, with the on-scene police officers giving him high-fives as he got into the deceased gang-bangers' car and drove away.