Monday, January 11, 2016

Finally here.

The second leg of last nights flight saw us all packed into a jet like sardines. It was a full flight, and lucky me, I had a middle seat. We were delayed because the flight was short two stewardesses but the airline eventually scrounged two passable substitutes up and we were off just a bit late. Since I was at least in an exit row, Our new replacement cabin lady gave us all a briefing on the emergency exit: 
"That card in front of you tells you how to open the exit door in an emergency. Please read it and familiarize yourself with it, but don't touch it unless we tell you to, and we're not gonna tell you to."

Then the plane began to taxi, and immediately, a toddler a few rows ahead began crying and screaming for his mommy. That's just what we all needed, right there. And it quickly became apparent that this was going to be an issue for a while as it looked like "mommy" was seated up front in the better-than-you seats while her darling child was in the care of some other woman back in cattle class with the rest of us. The stewardess took the kid up front a couple of times briefly but always brought it back again, where the screaming commenced anew. Real set of lungs on that kid, lemme tell ya.

It finally stopped about half an hour into the flight. I'm guessing that the kid either cried himself out and went to sleep or else someone sitting closer smothered him to death. Either way, it was long overdue and a welcome change.

Finally got to my destination, and took an airport shuttle into the city. It was also filled to capacity, and one of the other passengers was the World's Loudest Asian Dude on a cellphone. I was up front behind the driver and this guy was in the very rear of the bus but his shouting into his phone in Chinese or North Korean or whatever language that he was gwabbling away in pretty much kept any of the rest of us from talking or relaxing. Finally I asked the driver if the rest of us could pitch in a few bucks to get him to put Hong Kong Phooey and his phone out on the side of the highway. He said that he couldn't do that. Sigh.

But I'm here now. Had dinner and went walk-about, then got a good night's sleep. Now it's morning, the sun is out, and I'm going for a run along the Mississippi River before breakfast. 

15 comments:

  1. And there is the Everyman travel experience to a T. (I think your Asian loud talker works where I work, or maybe it's his brother.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Travel within the US is generally an exercise in misery these days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't you just hate those folks that like to share their phone conversations with everyone, and they are ALWAYS loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been known to join in the conversation, figuring that if they're going to shout they must be talking to me too. But it's a foul when they jibber away in some other language.

      Delete
  4. Yep, what Sarge & LL said. Common experiences, and the misery index meter has broken at "off the charts".

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's OK, Murph.

    When you win the Powerball you can buy a Gulfstream VI and be free of the proles once and for all....

    ReplyDelete
  6. "...But I'm here now. "

    Where is "here"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The city that care forgot. New Orleans.

      Delete
  7. I returned home 9 days ago via a couple of the Airborne Cylindrical People Movers. Two days after that, my throat go all scratchy and I developed a mother of a cold. Still not over it.

    I hate flying.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hope the important part of the trip goes well... Just sayin...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Once upon a time I was traveling on business to Salt Lake city from DFW. I was seated early and had a 2 seat row to myself. Before departure a dad with two small boys show up, and one is seated in the window seat next to me. Dad and other boy are in the row ahead of me. As soon as they are they seated, the two boys start whaling on one another over the seat back between them. The plane takes off, the fight continues even though they should be buckled in and still at this point. When the plane reaches cruising altitude the animal next to me is kneeling on his seat, kicking me while still fighting with the brother. Dad is ignoring the whole situation. I finally tell the animal that I would appreciate it if he'd stop kicking me, as it would make a more pleasant flight. This gets dads attention slightly but no corrections from him or attention from the animal in the seat next to me. By now I am imagining the scene in "Goldfinger" where Goldfinger is sucked out of an airplane window when the cabin is depressurized. The animal has now gotten into high gear and is standing on the seat and punching his brother who is similarly standing on his seat. Realize that they haven't taken off the seat belt sign yet, and everyone is supposed to be seated and buckled in. Then, a little comeuppance. The brother in the front seat makes a wild swing and punches the kid next to me right in the nuts! I hear OOMPHH from my seatmate, it must have hurt pretty good. Then he screams at the top of his lungs "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE PENIS!!!!" I think everyone on the airplance heard that scream. Heh, I was mightily amused by that sucker punch. Soon after, the stewardesses started making the rounds and I asked to relocate my seat. Relocation accomplished, I was able to enjoy the rest of the flight.

    ReplyDelete
  10. P.S. I pretty much hate airline cattle-car flying too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Last time we flew, we had our infant daughter with us (~6 months old). Despite our specifically reserving adjacent seats (we bought her a seat as well, so that we could strap her into her car seat during the flight), and despite us specifying her age when reserving the seats, on all four of our flights the airline attempted to seat my wife and I together in the back, while putting our daughter up front by herself near first class.

    There was absolutely NO FREAKING WAY we were putting a 6 month old by herself in a different part of the plane! We forced the airline to fix things each time, and ticked off a few other people who had to change seats as a result, but we had our seat reservations printed out ahead of time and told the other passengers who to complain to. We also ticked off a LOT of people who were offended that we'd dare to bring an infant on a plane.

    She alternated between laughing and sleeping on each and every flight, by the way. We dodged THAT bullet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Have fun. Remember it's not the same city you used to live by. It's worse. Be safe.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This isn't a troll. I saw it and thought of Belle:

    http://coyoteroller.com/pages/video-series

    ReplyDelete