Bye. Don't let the door hit you.
But you don't get those whole states; you get the parts that voted for you.
- You get Detroit, Pontiac and Flint but Michigan is otherwise red.
- You get Chicago and the rest of Illinois stays in America. (You can have Gary, Indiana, too though.)
- Milwaukee and Madison are yours judging by the poverty and ceaseless demands for more free stuff but the rest of Wisconsin works and pays taxes and belongs to America.
- Enjoy Minneapolis too. You made that mess but the rest of the state is still good people, aka: Red-state Americans.
- The Northeast has never been loyal to America as far back as our war of Independence when they still traded with the British. (I think they reprovisioned German U-Boats in World War Two as well.) Keep those with our compliments, especially as all the coal for the power grid comes from us.
- California is only blue from San Francisco down the coast to Los Angeles and San Diego so you can have that because frankly we don't want them anyway. We will of course be pulling all of our military out so get ready to your new Mexican overlords. (We've let them know that we're no longer interested in retaining New Mexico as well. Hasta la Vista, Cucarachas!)
- Oregon is solid red except for Portland and Eugene, and you've ruined those so you're not getting out of here without taking them with you.
- Hell, take Seattle too and good riddance to the lot of you.
But poke so much as one blue-dyed head up over the Sierra Nevadas and we're cutting the water from the Rockies right off. Oh--we'll be sending you a few dozen trainloads of Boulderites and other hippie freaks out of the once-great state of Colorado too, because we're making Colorado great again and we can't do that with liberals in it.
Donald J. Trump, President.