Thursday, December 30, 2010


OK, a few weeks ago, I totally rebuilt the toilet in my main bathroom. Rather proud of myself I was, too. Until it began to leak. Damn it--how can it leak? I replaced every single component, screw and gasket in or connected to the tank. It's not possible!

So tonight, I spent another hour on it, tearing it down, repositioning the gaskets, refilling it, emptying it and mopping up the water, then replacing the gaskets... And still it leaks.

I'm at an impasse. I can't figure out what's wrong, but I for damn sure am not going to call some expensive plumber in here to do what has to be a simple fix. Tomorrow I'm gong back to Home Depot to try to cadge some free technical advice.

In the meantime, I'm done with it. I cleaned up, washed up, and walked out into my living room to find shreds of plastic all over the floor. It took me a minute to figure out that this plastic once comprised a bag that held the brand new family-size loaf of honey-wheat bread that I'd just bought at the store today. But there was no bread--not even a crumb. The whole loaf was gone. Like it was never even there.

And there sat Audie Murphy, licking his chops and looking quite proud of himself."Got jam?"

And my head exploded.


  1. The lab that preceded Barkley, Clyde (named after Clyde Cessna) greeted me at the door one day with with just a tiny bit of clear plastic stuck to a whisker. I couldn't place it. It was only when I went to look for a Twinkie to stick in my lunch box that I found the box missing. The wrappers and the box had been carried and then snooted under the bed where they remained.

    He'd eaten them and hid the evidence.

  2. Well that'll teach you to leave food where he can reach it! ;-)

  3. It was on the COUCH! He KNOWS that he's not allowed on the couch!

  4. Plumbing sucks! I truly hate it with all of my being! Touch something and something farther behind fails.

    Murphy seems to be adapting well!

  5. I love young dogs! They are so easily entertained and they so often outsmart us! When I got my first Husky, my relatively new bride trying to get us both out the door to work one morning had told me she poured me a bowl of Cheerios. When I went into the kitchen the bowl was out but nary a toasty O could be found. Yep, the fur-ball had struck...neatly, I might add.

    Later when prepping for a Halloween party she had baked a quartet of pumpkin pies and place them cooling on the range top. Shortly thereafter the front-most pie had a neatly scooped out half. No crumbs, no evidence. Yet another perfect crime!

    A few months later in Germany. Off to work in the morning. Placed a frozen chicken in the sink for dinner under a large copper pot. Returned that evening and voila! Like magic, lift the pot and no chicken! Less than perfect execution that time. The corpus delecti was discovered behind a chair in the back bedroom.

    They are devious beasts, cleverer by half than we are.

  6. Agree, Ed. It is impressive. I'm just spoiled by years spent with Lagniappe, who could be trusted with an unattended pizza slice or cheeseburger in plain view and at muzzle level while I left the room. He knew the difference between "mine" and "his". This guy...not so much, apparently.

  7. LOL- Gotta 'love' the training process... Good luck with the toilet, I went down that road, ended up paying the man anyway after three tries... sigh...

  8. Ha Ha...that's too funny and it reminds me of mine. Very soon after I got my beagle rescue, I went food shopping to pick up a few things...bought some cold cuts from the deli along with a few other things. I put them in the back of the truck while the pooch sat in the front with me. I then stopped in to the video store to "quickly" pick up a movie.

    As I am unpacking my stuff into the fridge, I am bewildered because I could have sworn for sure I bought, one pound of ham AND one of cheese. Where is that dang cheese?

    I go back into the truck to see if somehow it fell out of the bag...
    That's when I saw it...the plastic bag with the cheese details on it....and not a slice of cheese anywhere....
    That's my houdini dog. At least he was bright enough not to eat the plastic.
    Lesson learned....beagle boy does NOT get to go food shopping with me anymore.
    You would not believe all the people who told me after I relayed that story to them, that it was MY fault.

    So yeah....this incident was your fault too.


  9. There's not much I can say about the dog, since mine can't reach much of anything, but as for the plumbing--that just about describes my weekend.