Friday, April 01, 2011

Damn dog...

So I was awakened this morning by a knock on the door. I opened it to find the local animal control officer standing on my deck. He was not smiling.

He gestured to the back of his car, where a German Shepherd sat, looking out the window. "That your dog?"

And of course it was Murphy. Come to find out he figured out how to open the patio door all by himself. He apparently went out early this morning and I didn't even know that he was missing.

"Yeah, he's mine," I admitted. "Where'd you find him?"

"He was next door, killing your neighbor's cats."

I just sighed. "Sorry, Officer. I'll try to keep a better eye on him from now on."

The Critter Cop was not too bugged about it though, seeing as how this was Murphy's first offense. But he did say that the neighbors were pretty upset and they wanted me to pay for the cats he killed.

"OK," I said. "That sounds fair, I guess." I reached for my wallet. "How many cats we talking about?"

"Thirty seven."

"WHAT?!" I dropped the wallet. "How could one dog kill thirty seven cats?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask..." said the Animal Control officer as he walked back to his car, popped the trunk, and withdrew something from inside. "This your M60?"

Damn dog...

Happy APRIL FOOLS day!


  1. Anonymous9:10 AM


    I'll admit, you had me going right up until the very end.


  2. 37 cats! That merits a citation and his own special cut T-bone for dinner! Good dog, Murph!

  3. As the step grandmother of a Siberian Husky escape-artist who not only tore open the cage and slaughtered the neighbor's Mr. Hoppy, but also ripped off its little bunny head and left it on the neighbor's back porch as a souvenir, I was going right along with you the whole way, feeling your pain.

    I'm just glad now that Rachmaninov never learned to fire an automatic weapon. There's apparently a good reason why dogs aren't blessed with opposable thumbs.

    Most excellent post!

  4. You just got it. Smart dog.

  5. Damn, you REALLY need to teach him trigger control... :-)

  6. I cried, I was laughing so hard. .

  7. LOL!!! That was a good one! ;)