Monday, August 13, 2012

Dear Miss Manners...

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was supposed to get married yesterday but I stabbed my fiancee in the heart twice by accident and now they are telling me that he's dead. I have two questions for you. Do people usually die when you stab them in the heart (so I'll know for next time), and do I have to return the wedding presents?

Signed: Na Cola

Gentle Reader: Your mama seriously named you "Na Cola"? Wow. Oh, and write back from prison after the trial and tell me how that whole "it was an accident" defense works out.

4 comments:

  1. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence...

    If they'd named her Na DIET Cola, maybe there wouldn't be the weight issue (?)

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  2. I can't even begin to imagine the bizarre pre-wedding sex-games that would require a knife-wound in the chest, whether it was supposed to penetrate the heart or not. Man...WTF was she even thinking???

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  3. She didn't mean to kill him. Those were love stabs!

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  4. WTF is right!!! Sigh...

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