Saturday, November 24, 2012

Got my lottery ticket

Now normally I don't buy the things. In fact, this is probably maybe the fourth or fifth one I ever bought in my life. I even felt kinda silly asking for one, that is until the guy at the adjoining cash register at the 7-11 bought a HUNDRED DOLLARS WORTH of them. Sheesh! But with $325 million bucks on the line...

Frankly, I don't even expect to win. I just wanted to buy into the logistical problem of figuring out how I could come into so much money and still manage to die broke at the end, since none of us can take it with us.

Yeah, it's easy to blow that first batch of cash paying off the houses and car payments of family and friends and putting all their kids through school, but after that, what do you buy?

I'm figuring I'd have an Air Zoo. I'd have me a nice big hangar someplace and that hangar would contain an A-26 Invader, an F4U Corsair, An F-86, a Stearman, and an O-2A, all flyable and with mechanics on call, of course. Oh, and my existing Cessna would get a new paint job and maybe even some new carpeting.

I would have small but nice (and completely defensible) homes in New Orleans, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and the western mountains, and probably a place up in Barrow, Alaska for those times when I just wanted some solitude. And there would be maids in each of them. French maids. Rowr!

I would have a posse of "personal assistants" as well, each of them an incredibly beautiful woman trained in martial arts and small arms use. Can't be too well guarded, ya know so I'd hire me a whole army of them and use them to protect myself and eliminate my enemies, people the America-haters at MSNBC or the guy down the street who keeps using his leaf blower at first light on every week-end and holiday morning. Heck, maybe I'd just buy an island, or an aircraft carrier or old Russian nuclear submarine. Then I could live like one of those old James Bond villains, only instead of working on world domination, I'd be using the rest of that cash to help cure cancer or heart disease or liberalism.

On second thought, that world domination thing sounds pretty cool, too.

Yep. I've definitely got me some plans for that cash when I win it tonight. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stand in front of the mirror and practice my "evil genius" laugh. Muhuhuhahahaha...

EDITED: Ah, well. I didn't even hit one number. But it was worth the two bucks just for the dream. Maybe next time the pot gets super-dooper big we'll try it again.

Nobody won. Pot up to $425 Million. I think I'll invest another $2.00, because with that kind of money... Cue evil genius laugh in


  1. If you go get a white cat, I will get worried. Oh, Nehru jacket too.

  2. We're thinking along similar lines - I have a yen for a DC-3 and a PBY, though. I'd also really like a Grumman Duck, and perhaps an Ercoupe.


  3. Well, Murph, you tried. Not to gloat or anything, but I won this round. I just got the e-mail informing me of my good fortune. All I have to do is send in the $5,000 for the bank charges and processing fees and the money, all $325 Million of it, will be transferred to my account.

    I haven't been on the Upper Peninsula for the past 40 years, but yes, I definitely will be getting myself a place there.

    And I'll also buy myself a bridge so that I can collect all the tolls. The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey has been having a cash crunch lately, so maybe they'll sell me at least a partial interest in the George Washington Bridge.

    And I'm also looking at an island somewhere, preferably one with a sizeable airstrip and a port facility for submarines.

    So please excuse me while I come to terms with this newfound fortune. I'll let you know when I get something, so that you and the dog can come visit us.

    But hey, you only lost a dollar.

    Oh well, maybe next week's drawing will be your lucky one!


  4. No offense, but your dreams suck. No P-38? No ME262? No British Vampire? You're not going to get the Spruce Goose flying again??? WTF are you DOING with all that cash, then??!?

    Yeah, my dream would be quite similar...have to get the French maids past the wife's approval, though. *ahem* Oh, and don't forget a fully stocked gun room (I'm thinking BIG room), with more ammo than the US Army, and as many shooting lanes out on the back 40 as I can possibly fit. Yeah. That'll do!

  5. @ Keads: Lol at white cat.

    @ Rolls: That DC 3 and Grumman Duck would rock, too. Ercoupes are already out there and affordable at "commoner" prices. I like those. Serch my blog for "Ercoupe". Got a nice picture of one last summer.

    @Expat Owl: He's charging you $5K? Heck, he's giving me that national treasure of Biafra for only $3K. I already sent the cash and should have my loot by next Friday.

    @Rabid Alien: A P-38 and an ME-262 would be nice to have as well. I didn't want to sound too greedy. But the gun rooms will be standard in any abode. Guns made America great, and my Amazon protectoresses will need something to shoot while modeling their bikinis. Mustn't let them get bored.

  6. You taking applications for loyal minions? I can even do Renfield.

    "The Destructo Beam is ready master. All is in accord with your orders. Heehee Heehee Heehee!"

  7. Keep on dreaming! Remember your 'poor relations'when you hit the jackpot. BTW we're taking gun class this week & have some questions for you.