Sunday, December 09, 2012

Women Drivers...There ought to be a law.

With apologies in advance to the numerous responsible conservative (and one liberal) women who read this blog. I don't mean to tar you with this brush. Now that being said...

So there I am, minding my own business, not bothering anyone, just driving along all nice and law-abidingly on a two-lane highway, when suddenly a big raised-up Dodge pick-up truck pulls out from a side street on the right, directly into my lane of travel, trying to cut across my lane to turn left in front of me.
Collision: Unavoidable.
Damage: significant,(but alas, mostly to my vehicle)
Fault: Driver of the pick-up truck, who had--and disregarded--a stop sign.

I exit my vehicle, which is now non-driveable due to major damage to the right front quarter and tire. The Dodge has some bumper damage, but it's cosmetic at worst. The Dodge has oversized tires, custom (read: obnoxiously loud) exhaust, and all sorts of stupid stickers on the back window that really only amuse the low-brow types.
The driver of said pick-up truck is, not surprisingly, an overweight woman with a big mouth who alternates between crying "Why does this always happen to me?" and "Oh my boyfriend is going to kill me!" (Granted, my reply: "Somebody ought to", probably didn't help the situation, but I didn't care and still don't.)
I tell her to pull into the nearby parking lot just past the intersection. She wails: "Not until I call my boyfriend!"
I tell her that I'm calling the police and remind her that she is now blocking an entire intersection. She just demands to know why I hit her.
"Hello?! Highway!" (I gesture to the road I was on.) "Side street!" (I point to the road she was on. "Stop sign!" (I point to the big red six-sided piece of metal that she ignored.) I'm the one that had the damned right of way here, but she's too far gone to grasp it.

We both pull into the parking lot as I call the police. Once off the phone, I get out, survey my vehicle's damage, then proceed over to check out hers. This sets her to screaming again. "Get away from my truck!" I ignore her and start taking pictures. Now she's screaming: "You can't photograph my truck! Get away from me right now or I'll have you charged with harassment." I just do what I need to do, marveling at the fact that somewhere out there, there's a guy who thinks that this woman is worth putting up with. Of course when he shows up a few minutes later, with his scruffy six-inch-long beard, his overflowing gut, and a t-shirt with an off-color comment intended to be humorous on it, I understand perfectly. There two are a match made in...well made in someplace stupid.

Fortunately the police are already there and he seems to know better than to come over and say word one to me. Maybe he's not as dumb as he looks. Even more fortunately, he has insurance. The police officer, someone I know, does me a good turn and bends the rules by giving me the guy's insurance information instead of making me wait a week and pay $20.00 for a copy of the accident report, so at least I have the claim process started tonight.

My SUV. I love my SUV. It just went over 200,000 miles this week, there wasn't a damned thing mechanically wrong with it, and I'd planned to get a lot more use out of it. Sigh...


  1. Glad you're all right. Don't let the bastards get you down.

  2. Not the sort of Christmas you were anticipating, I'd imagine. My sympathies.

  3. I'm glad you weren't harmed in the melee! Her 'why does this always happen to me?!' comment is telling. Wonder how many accidents she's had?

  4. Thanks, all.

    @ Heather: Yeah, I caught that when she said it...and I made sure to write it in the written statement that I had to jot down for the police report, just to make sure that it's part of the official record.

  5. What!? They have six-sided stop signs in Appalachia? I dunno, Wally, maybe she got confused an' stuff...

  6. Glad you are ok. Sometimes life gives you a s^*t sandwich.

  7. For the woman in question, in the words of Red, on That 70s Show: "You don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass."

  8. Aw, that's a crappy way to end your weekend.
    As for woman drivers....well, I won't touch that one. :)

  9. East of Cumberland MD last week, pretty as you please, some guy passed me on the highway (68), going the wrong direction in the left lane.

    I freaked for a second, thinking there had been construction signs I had missed or something...nope.

    Couple miles later, two state troopers flew by on the right (correct) side of the highway, going to beat the band.

    I'd swear that guy had West Virginia plates...

  10. Glad you're OK. As irritating as the incident was, everything else is replaceable. You're not.

    Glad she had insurance, too.

    Down here the usual result is an at fault driver that suddenly doesn't speak english, all the stickers in the back window would be for spanish language radio stations and big images of the Virgin Mary, and insurance?... is to laugh.

  11. Don't blame women, blame the Dodge:)

    Sorry she was such a pill. Glad your ok!!

  12. Oh, no! Is it going to be salvageable?

  13. @ PH. It should be.

    @ Agirl: If the attention-seeking fool hadn't raised the truck up to be different, it would have been bumper-bumper contact. As it was, his bumper went over mine and caused much more damage.

    This is why I prefer flying. Idiots like this gal rarely get pilots' licenses.

  14. Drat. Glad to hear you're ok. Got to love goofballs not paying attention.

    Hopefully it'll buff right out :-).

  15. Glad to hear you are OK. Sorry to hear about the SUV. I am very attached to mine, too. 14 years old, rolled over 255K last week, only two owners and fully mechanically sound. A couple of leaks is it's only problem. Hope you can get it fixed and running great again.

  16. Quite frankly, I don't care about your vehicle - the important thing is that you're OK. Vehicles can be replaced. You can't. Glad you're OK.

  17. Anonymous7:56 PM

    I am glad to hear you were not hurt.And you did not have to hurt someone.

  18. Glad yer ok...

    Take pictures BEFORE you move your vehicles next time. Protect yourself. Srsly

  19. Hi Murphy;

    Glad you are OK, vehicles can be replaced...that being said, you might be able to talk to "her" insurance company not to total your ride out. Just a thought.

  20. I kinda know how you feel.

    Two months ago today a car turned left into me. Clear, dry, well lit city street with no visual obstructions. The only two vehicles on the street were her car and my motorcycle.

    The other driver first said she didn't see me, then later told the police that she did see me but thought I was far enough away she could make the turn.

    My motorcycle was totaled, and I'm still healing an injured knee.

    Glad to hear you're OK!

  21. Glad you weren't hurt. At least the other driver has insurance. Not sure which is worse, an accident with a bad driver or an animal collision.

  22. So sorry about your SUV. Very glad you are ok

    So you going to buy a sports car to go along with having your private plane??? :) You need to think of your image.

    I would be seriously bummed if I lost my old truck to some dimwit with a jacked up mudder wannabe truck.

    And no, I won't sell you my perfectly good old Toyota pickup - it does not have enough room for Murphy anyway.

  23. Dude, I am so sorry. Glad you weren't hurt. What sucks even worse is hassling with the insurance and then...shudder...buying another vehicle. I hate buying cars!

  24. Damn, sorry to hear, and sorry I did't pick up on this till now...