OK, those people here who know my understand that I an a proud Luddite and that, with the exception of my computer for internet access, I typically eschew anything more technologically advanced than a cassette player. Honestly, I'm of the opinion that everything that society might ever really need was already invented back in the 1970's and anything more modern is like First-World felgercarb that we can all get along without.
Seriously, when Skynet becomes self-aware in a few years and starts knocking the human race off, it's gonna have to work pretty hard to even find my ass, much less smoke it.
But recently, a coupe of dents got hammered into my anti-technological defense as I won an iPad in a workplace raffle, much to the amusement of those around me who laughed uproariously and said things like: "You don't even know what an iPad is, do you?"
(And yes, I did know what an iPad did...right after I found a computer and Googled it.)
I also got one of them there iPhones. (An iPhone 5, thank you very much.) I can thank my friend Tom for hooking me up not only with the iPhone but with a wireless router that connects the iPhone and iPad to my iComputer so long as iLeave it alone and don't monkey with the settings or press any of the buttons.
This is kinda handy, because now I can read e-mails in bed and and flip through Kindle books like Peter's great e-book, Take the Star Road. <--Shameless plug, but worthy of it. Go read it, people. I can even use this thing called "Netflix" to watch old episodes of Dr. Who and Miami Vice.
However, it's also recently opened the door to a young lady that I met recently whom I'll refer to as CST, which is short for "Crazy Stalker Chick".
She's the one who actually installed her Netflix thing on my iPad so I could give it a try. The only problem is that as soon as I started watching anything, she'd text me to tell me that she knew what I was watching.
OK, that stuff's creepy enough, but then there's the texts in general from her--texts that have got me hiding from the iPhone now. She'll send me a text pretty much any time of the day or night, and if I don't reply immediately, she'll send a second asking why I'm ignoring her, and then a third where she gets all miffed. This can happen any time, and I'm almost afraid to even glance at my phone now lest I have another stack of messages from her in that format.
I've solved part of this by uninstalling her Netflix info and re-installing my own (because I haven't finished watching all of the Miami Vice episodes yet) but I haven't figured out how to stop the texts and what I have to say to her about this is not the sort of thing that a gentleman says back via text. In other words, when I kick this one to the curb, it's going to be in person, not via a text or e-mail. She's cute and funny, but it's only been a couple of weeks and already the manias are becoming apparent in this one so I'm going to put a stop to it before she breaks in here and starts boiling live rabbits in my kitchen.
But this still begs the question, which I'll pose to you more electronically-savvy types: Is there some sort of screen or filter that I can set up that identifies and blocks out crazy chicks? If not, someone needs to make one, because this technology makes it way too easy for them to bring their drama into your personal space 24/7.
I'm thinking that it's time to ditch the fancy cell phone and internet and just go back to a landline phone and a few newspaper subscriptions like civilized people have.