Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What a Dumb Bell(e).

So last night, I'm enjoying some chips and hot picante salsa. Naturally, Mooch and Moochette show up and ask for some when I'm finished and taking the more or less empty salsa bowl back into the kitchen.

I hold the bowl out for Murphy. He and I have been through this before with salsa and as I expect, he takes one sniff and walks right out of the room. He's not having any part of that stuff again, no sir.

But Belle is a bit more naive. She come over, sticks her muzzle in the bowl, and licks some of the salsa.

Now folks, wimpy salsa is not allowed in this house. If it's labeled "mild" or "medium", I don't even want it in here. Ad this stuff I've got tonight is eye-wateringly good hot stuff.

Belle takes two good licks of the salsa and backs up. She shakes her head and her tongue starts going in and out of her mouth as she scrapes the top of it with her teeth.

"Oh, you poor, stupid dog," I say to her as Murphy looks in from the next room, a look of canine mirth on his face. But Belle's not finished; she comes back towards me and when I hold the bowl out again, she takes another good lick. More head-shaking and tongue-scraping ensues, and she even brings a paw up to swipe at the side of her muzzle. And shame on me, but I'm laughing now. Poor girl doesn't seem to be catching on to the whole "cause and effect" thing here. I go to put the bowl in the sink but before I do, I see her giving me that look that says "Hey, I wasn't finished yet." Mind you, she's still shaking her head and scraping her teeth. So I set the bowl down on the floor and step back, to see what she does, and sure enough, Belle steps up and proceeds to lick more of the salsa. Damn! Then she backs off, shakes her head, puts her head on the floor and bats at her muzzle with her paw again.

Now I feel kinda sorry for her, so I pick the bowl up and put it in the sink, but as I'm doing this, she gets up and nudges me with her nose--she actually wants it back!

But I can't do it to her any more. She obviously really likes the salsa but she's also burning her tongue off on it and I just can't give her any more; it's wrong like giving a toddler a shot of whiskey is wrong, even if the toddler likes it. I rinse the bowl and Belle spends the next few minutes scraping her tongue across her teeth. She's not the brightest dog in Jefferson County, but she's mine and I love her all the same.


  1. Ok, don't want to hear any griping when you have salsa on the counter and turn your back! You created the monster. Just sayin'. ;-)

  2. Give the poor thing a small bowl of whole milk or, better yet, cream. And then more salsa... milk... rinse and repeat.

  3. Words defy me...(shakes head)...although I do wonder as to the gastric after action report.

    1. And that's why I didn't let her have any more. This salsa is the gift that keeps on giving.

  4. Anonymous10:19 AM

    Oh, I've had the same experience as Belle! :-P


  5. Oh yes - the "gastric action" is going to give her pause (or paws) for thought... Hopefully...

  6. *snort* dogs are funny.

    Rip begs for jalapeno slices. she loves cayenne pepper and enjoys sriracha. i'm honestly afraid to let Chris bring anything spicier in the house, lest she beg for it and actually get some.

  7. Knucklehead -- I don;t believe a dog's digestive system can handle cow's milk very well. The only reason adult humans (well, most of us, generally with a significant load of genes from European or African populations from no more than about 10,000 years ago) can digest milk is due to what anthropologists sometimes call, "The Attack of the Milk Drinking Mutants".

    A dog with severe intestinal distress from lactose intolerance would not be pleasant to be around. {grin}

  8. Anonymous3:45 AM

    Some dogs and people are slow infiguring things like this out