Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Taking a bite out of crime, southern style.

Down in Florida recently, a punk named Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend that he was going to go burglarize some homes. "Cool," she likely said. "Steal me some neat stuff, too."

Riggins and a pal roamed the Barefoot Bay neighborhood in Brevard County until they were spotted by police, at which point they ran and hid down by a lake. As police searched for him, Riggins called his girlfriend back and told her that he was hiding from the police. A few minutes later however, the police heard screaming down by the lake but they weren't able to find the source. They also didn't find Riggins, who was reported missing the next day.

Florida man killed by alligator while hiding from police

Yep. Justice came swimming. Ten days later, authorities found Riggins' body in that lake...most of it, anyway. And when they tried to retrieve it, an 11-foot gator appeared and aggressively objected.
The gator was subsequently killed, and the rest of Riggins was found in it's stomach.

It's believed that Riggins, a serial burglar who is thought to be responsible for a string of local home break-ins, tried to hide in or near the lake to escape detection by police dogs being used to search for him. Unfortunately for him, he attracted the attention of the alligator, which dragged him into the lake and killed him.

My thoughts are simple. No sympathy for Matthew Riggins. He was a piece of shit and his demise is no great loss to society. I feel bad for the alligator. It was just doing what gators do, and the fact that it also performed a community service at the same time is bonus points as far as I'm concerned. I'm thinking that we could use a few gators like that one on our southern border.

Overlooked in the news stories this far has been Riggins' girlfriend. She is the one who knew in advance his plans to break into people's homes and she apparently did not object or notify the authorities. In my view, she's as guilty as he and his other accomplice are. She needs to go to jail too, or failing that, she should be tossed to another gator.


  1. But if the gator eats her, that gator will be euthanized like the first one was. What are you, a gator hater?

  2. Gator should have gotten a commendation... IMHO...

  3. Time to ban alligators.

  4. “Florida is one of the few places that whenever you step into the water, either within or surrounding the state, you have entered ‘nature’s food chain’… and you are definitely NOT at the top!”
    No idea who said that, but it is right on the dot.

  5. Anonymous12:25 AM

    + 1 Old NFO

  6. Thirty years ago, a Florida DNR spokesman said on TV that he would never enter any body of fresh water in Florida, because of the gators. (Now, with crocodiles in South Florida, I wouldn't enter any body of salt water, either.)
    Eight years ago, when I lived in Florida, every retention pond in the area had its own gator. I saw a few of them myself.
    You'd think that this honor student who was just turning his life around would have known that.

  7. I saw that on Fox the other night. I must say, the deceased received scant sympathy. A few days before that, some idiot in Northern California tried to sneak down a chimney, head first, to rob a place. The home owner called police after he lit a fire and heard screams issuing from his chimney. Sadly (or not) the would be burglar expired from burns and smoke inhalation.

    1. Yeah, the burglar down the chimney story made me smile, too. Shame on me. Heh.

  8. I too feel bad for the gator, but at least he got a tasty hamburglar to eat.

  9. This was purely a Karma ballet solo!