Monday, February 27, 2006

Tollbooth rants.

Don't you just love those indecisive boobs who approach tollbooth plazas and slow to a crawl while they study every open lane to try to figure out which one might be four seconds faster than the others? Meanwhile, everyone behind them is blocked from getting past while this dolt wavers back and forth....

Grrrr.....

And then there's the twit who gets all the way to the toll collector BEFORE looking for the money. Everyone else gets to sit behind this scatterbrain--usually a female--and cool their heels while she digs through her purse for exact change, one coin at a time. Far be it from her to just hand over a buck for a .75 toll and get a quarter back.

Aaarrrgh!!

But the all-time worst is when you get blocked behind that thoughtless moron who does not have the fare. Now everyone sits and waits for 2-3 minutes while the toll collector has them fill out a little "promise to pay" sheet which allows the toll people to send them a bill. I don't know how long that sheet is since I've never been stupid enough to arrive at the toll gate with no money (That's what coins in the ash tray are for!) but based on how long it takes some of these fools to fill them out, I'm guessing that they're about sixteen pages long.

Meanwhile the rest of us just get later and later...

When I get to be President and run things, toll collectors will just have a button to press whenever someone shows up with no money and blocks the line. They press it and the offending car drops through a trap door into a compactor below, stupid driver and all.

This may sound a bit harsh at first, but it's really just an advanced form of Darwinism as it allows us to weed the really stupid people out of the gene pool, hopefully before they breed too much.

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