Leaving for the Transvaal

OK, after several hours (and twice as many beers) of careful consideration, Lagniappe and I have decided to take up the fight for the Boer cause. We're packing our gear as I write this.

OK, he's supposed to be packing, but knowing that dog, he's probably asleep or playing with his squeaky frog.

Anyway... being home as I've been, and having a ton of free time, I began studying the Boer War a couple of weeks ago. This was a conflict that started in 1899 when a bunch of peaceful Dutch-descended farmers in two South African colonies--the Transvaal and Orange Free State got fed up with their British neighbors. These folks had originally emigrated away from British-controlled Cape Colony back in the 1830's because they didn't care much for the British pushing them around.
However the British just couldn't let these people be free (sound familiar?) so in 1899, war broke out.
At first it went ok. The typically over-confident British got shellacked for about a year as their lackluster infantry was no match for the Boer forces, each of whom was an excellent marksman and horseman. The British had few horses so the Boers literally rode circles around them and whomped on them right and left. Of course the Brits also made some astounding tactical mistakes because they didn't take these "farmers with guns" seriously. (Again, you'd think they'd have learned from messing with American farmers with guns back in 1776, but noooo.)


These are Boers.


But the war went well for the first year as the Boers penned the Brits up in a few cities and took control of the countryside, But then the British started sending in more troops from England and all of the other British possessions. Now this was hardly fair as it created an almost infinite number of British soldiers while there was definitely a finite number of Boers. Add to this the fact that the British soon learned from their mistakes and the fact that each Boer was a volunteer who tended to just up and go home if a battle went bad or if he just tired of fighting, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how that one was going to turn out. Eventually the Boers surrendered and turned in all of their guns. Each had to sign a loyalty oath to Britain and the ones who didn't were transported away from South Africa forever. It was very sad indeed.

But it would not have happened had I been there. Of this I am sure. So I've raised a small army and plan on flying to South Africa this week-end to kick the British out.






Lagniappe is coming of course. I've assigned him the rank of Field Cornet, the Boer equivallent of a non-commissioned officer. Hey, it sounds cool and he's ready. He's even brushed up on his submachinegunning.









I've also recruited my friend Aaron, webmaster of The Shekel blog. Aaron has told his wife that he is coming to help me out here at the Lair for a week, but what she doesn't know is that we're off for Africa. He's been dying to try out his Uzi and his new Kahr 9mm on a few Redcoats. So nobody tip her off, ok? She'll put her foot down and keep him from going.





Finally I asked The Spud if he wanted to go be a Boer. Well he didn't know what a Boer was, but when I told him that he could ride a horse, camp out all night and shoot British infantry all day, he was hooked. I've assigned him to be a Private under Lagniappe.









So we're all set. The four of us leave just as soon as I can find a travel agent that knows where Orange Free State or the Transvaal are. We'll show those Tommies...