At least that's what I was told today...by Nicki of all people.
It all started when I was down my basement today and ran across this little guy.
He's about three inches across, including the legs. It's one of the hunting spiders that live around here. I find them fascinating but Nicki...well, you know...girls.
Anyway, I took this picture of it so that she could see it and I went back upstairs and left it to it's own agenda. When she came over, I showed her the picture and she immediately started in with: "Oh my God...where did you see THAT?!"
When I told her that it was right downstairs, she really got upset. I mean, it's just a spider, and not one that climbs stairs very well, but she's still like: "Get rid of it! Get it out of here!"
Hell, the poor spider's just trying to catch some pesky bug for dinner. I kind of like having spiders like this around. Anyway, to appease Nicki, I go downstairs and scoop it up in a box. I have the box closed, of course, because these little guys can really jump. I bring it back upstairs and offer to show it to her. She starts freaking out before I can even crack the lid, hollering for me to get it out of the house. I ask her to open the door, and she reluctantly does, but then she hides behind the door, supposedly so that the spider cannot get her. But then I decide to put the spider out front of the house instead, so I take it out the front door and let it go. Off he runs as soon as I turn him loose.
Now with the spider gone, I go back in the house, still holding the box. Nicki is vacuuming my library, and she's not too happy to see me come back in with the box, which I'm now holding with the lid closed, as if the spider is still inside. I tell her that I changed my mind again and want to put it out in the back yard. I agagin ask her if she wants to see it, and she says "Fuck no! Get that thing out of here!"
"OK," I tell her, as I walk to the back door. But then I "trip" over something and drop the box. It lands right up against the back of her legs and pops open.
Before we go any farther, let me tell you that I would never have believed that Nicki could ever jump that high or scream so loud.And I confess that when I saw her start to shake and hyperventilate, I actually felt bad for a few seconds.
But then she began hitting me and cursing me and told me that I suck in about five different languages, and it was just funny again.
I don't really suck, do I? I mean, come on...it was just a little spider...and not even a poisonous one.
Women... Go figure.