Friday, October 16, 2009

He's a coffee-wearing dog...

So last night, I'm on the couch, relaxing and reading a book. And as he often does when he gets restless, Lagniappe was amusing himself by running full-tilt from one end of the house to the other, crashing into walls at each end as he tries to turn on a dime on the hardwood floors. It's weird, but after all these years, he shows no sign of stopping and I quit asking why. I just stay out of the way to avoid getting hit by a hundred-pound unguided missile.

However last night, I'd neglected to pick a few things up, and when the cannonball dog came rocketing into the room on one of his shuttles, he slipped on a piece of paper that was on the floor. His hind legs went out from under him and he tumbled into the couch, bounced off, and nailed my small table that my coffee cup was resting on. Of course the cup was full, and it fell smack onto Lagniappe, dousing him thoroughly with the drink, which fortunately was not all that hot at the time.

Then the moron looks at me as if to announce that he'd meant to do that before getting up and shaking, sending coffee flying all over me the rest of the room.

I swear, one day I WILL trade this dog for a goldfish...and then I'll flush the goldfish.


  1. LOL!!! Send that boy to me.
    You will be happy to know that I read the transcript of the Polanski victim's Grand Jury testimony, and YOU WERE RIGHT.
    I was under the mistaken impression that this was just a statutory rape, but had been consensual(I've seen how some 13 year olds act-horrifying). The man is scum. No matter what horrible things happened to him, he violated that little girl. But then again, if she was my thirteen year old, she SURE as HE%%, would NOT have been at a party at Jack Nicholson's house.

  2. Awww... He sounds like a lovely puppy!! But, I've got a maltipoo for cheap if you're looking to downsize!! :):)

    FYI - Saw this and thought of you. Terribly interesting for those who have no clue what happens to a round when it hits something... Kinda neat footage..

  3. lol. Kira does that all the time, too!!! Runs from room to room, crashing into everything! I feel bad for the neighbor below - I am sure it has got to sound like a herd of thundering horses.

  4. You tell Lagniappe that Auntie JRo is sending him a first class plane ticket to Houston... Shame on you, Dad, for leaving that paper where the precious baby might slip on it!!

    Hope you and N are well.

  5. Goofy dog! Maybe it's time to carpet the floor?

  6. As a member of the defense team for one " Mr. Lanniappe" , I have had a consultation with my client. Amidst the barks, whining and howls....he has informed me that YOU failed to provide a safe excercise environment.

    Subsequently, while participating in his daily in-house specifically ( perhaps unintentionally) but nonetheless recklessly failed to provide a safe environment in which he could safely participate in his activities.

    As a result of a thorough exam by a DVM retained during the initial was determined that my client is now suffering post-traumatic stress syndrome as a result of this wholly preventable " slip and fall " incident located on your premises.

    My client is willing to accept an out of court settlement with the following stipulations...

    1. Three walks a day , one of which must involve the opportunity to chase or harass a member of the feline community.

    2. HE gets the couch.

    3. An unlimited supply of milk bones and or another known brand of dog biscuits.

    4. An every other day massage, followed by a shampoo and pedicure.

    If you choose to accept these conditions, fine. If you choose to ignore these meager demands , we will be forced to take drastic civil measures that could result in the loss of property and financial rights and assets.

    Yours truly , Lagniappe's Esquire.

  7. If he doesn't square himself away, he's liable to get TWO baths a day...and he hates baths like little else on the planet.

  8. Why? So I could have coffee stains on the carpet?

  9. Just so you don't try to flush the dog.