When I get to be President, certain offenses will be punishable by immediate termination, without appeal or even trial. Today's events have brought two such offenses to mind:
--People who walk into a coffee shop or take-out place at lunch time with a list of orders for several other people who are not present, especially if it requires the entire staff of the establishment to ignore everyone else while they work on assembling that one large order which could have been faxed or phoned in yet wasn't. I will deputize anyone standing in line behind such people to summarily shoot them.
--People who coast along obliviously (or deliberately) in the left lane--which is known as "the passing lane" for a reason--of a multi-lane highway at 55mph at rush hour, clogging up the whole damned highway by preventing anyone from passing them. However in the spirit of trying to educate people first, I will only have offenders executed for second offenses. First-time offenders will merely be pulled from their cars by squads of ex-LAPD officers and publicly beaten like Rodney King.