Wanna Instantly Stop the Ferguson Rioting Across America?

Easily done. Simply declare that anyone arrested for any riot-related offense lose their EBT, their Section 8 housing and/or their federal student aid for at least a year. Anyone subsequently convicted should be cut off from taxpayer-financed subsidization for a period of not less than five years for misdemeanors and permanently for felonies.

This stuff would stop within the hour. An Executive Order should do it.

Damn it, I really need to be President, even if just for a day or two.

The Looting has begun

Well that didn't take long. The savages are out in force in the wake of the disaster.

Looters ‘swipe’ up the mess in chaos zones

The looting begins: Thieves strike after superstorm forces millions to abandon their homes and businesses

Hurricane Sandy Looting, Fights Plague South Brooklyn (PHOTOS)

Now were I in charge, I'd give any business or home owner the absolute right to use deadly force on their premises to protect life or property during the time of the declared emergency and I'd authorize the police to detain anyone coming out of any store or residence with stuff in their hands and shoot any who resist or try to escape. Those convicted of looting in quick summary hearings would be sentenced to work on chain gangs where they could spend twelve hours a day helping with the clean-up and rebuilding roads washed out by the storm. Now I know that this would upset a whole lot of folks, mainly liberals, looters, and friends and family members of looters, but it seems to be all that a certain segment of our population understands. I'd also permanently bar anyone caught looting from ever getting welfare, EBT, student loans or any other taxpayer money. There's no reason for the rest of us to subsidize animals.

Now once the situation is stabilized and the areas are safe, I'm thinking that there's work a-plenty here doing clean-up, demolition, rebuilding, etc.. It's going to take literal armies of workers quite a while to get everything pulled down, picked up, carted off and/or rebuilt, and while there's that much work available, I'd suggest that in addition to captured looters, every single able-bodied adult who has an EBT card or lives in public housing needs to show up and put in 40 hours a week doing that work, and if they don't perform satisfactorily, their card doesn't get any more money put on it and/or their rent doesn't get paid. Here's a great chance for those people who claim to want to work to get a start in an entry-level job and demonstrate some work skills. Who knows, but a lot of them might just wind up with steady full-time employment after a while and no longer need to live out of your pocket and mine. Heck, some might even do so well for themselves they they become *gasp!* Republicans!

But alas, they won't ever let me run the country, no matter how many times I suggest it. Darn it.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

When I get to be President, there will be a branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms in every community. And they'll be open 24 hours a day, six days a week, just like any other good convenience store.

And they'll also sell coffee, so I guess we'll have to change the name to ATFC.

Wikileaks, federal pay freezes show us--again--why we have the wrong guy in the White House

Not a good week for Barky, is it? Wikileaks just dumped a third batch of US classified documents into the wind after the Obama Administration largely ignored the last two releases of our proprietary information. Only now, unlike the last two times, Obama is upset. What's the difference, you ask? Well let's look at that. The first two releases of classified information that was stolen by traitor Bradley Manning, then a US Army intelligence analyst in Irag, mainly just exposed military secrets, including operational assessments, tactical plans and the names of Iraqi and Afghani citizens who were cooperating with us and trying to put their countries back on stable ground. Now those people and their families are all at risk--and some have reportedly been killed--but Obama was tacitly ok with that because, I suspect, in his view it only further damaged the military and the Bush administration, and Obama has never considered those to be part of "his" America. But this recent leak of over 250,000 State Department cables has embarrassed his administration and harmed his government's credibility, so now suddenly he wants something done about it. He was apparently perfectly content to let Wikileaks harm other Americans or our working partners, but when the fire finally reached his palace...

And we also have Obama trying to further divide Americans and turn us against each other by proposing a two-year freeze on the cost-of-living increases for all federal civilian employees. He claims that this is necessary due to the trillion-dollar deficit that we face this year--caused 100% by his spending programs--and he's hoping that the contempt that many Americans feel towards those who work for the government will somehow help make him look like a fighter and a careful steward of our money for once in his pathetic life.

Of course he isn't proposing to freeze hiring new employees. No, he'll keep on doing that in his quest for a large Borg-collective government that controls everything. He'll just deny the existing employees a 1.4% COLA and pretend that he's slashing spending all while adding thousands more people to the federal payroll.

All right. It's time for Barky to step aside. He's proven again that he's dangerously out of touch and incompetent. It's time for a new leader--one who can make the right choices and see America through to good times again. It's time to elect ME.

That's right. Me. I'll do it. Give me just a week and watch what I'll do to fix both of these problems.

First of all, I will call my entire CIA in. They will be given their marching orders: Deal with Wikileaks. Their offices will burn. Their computers will fry and their bank accounts will disappear. Every employee of that company will die an "accidental" death within 72 hours. And Julian Assange, the head of it all? No one will ever see him again or find his body. The whole outfit will be erased from the earth as an example of our willingness to defend our affairs and a warning to anyone else considering similar attacks against us. I'll probably seize the New York Times and lock it's anti-American editor Bill Keller up, too.
Oh--and Bradly Manning, the traitor? He'd be thrown up against a wall and shot on live television come the very next dawn and his body bulldozed into a landfill. Heck, I might even be the guy pulling the trigger.

No quarter for our enemies, even those who live among us. That'll be my motto.

And then the federal pay issue. I will not deny the federal workers their COLA. I will, in fact, increase by 10% the pay of all necessary federal employees, namely those employed in law enforcement, the federal courts, and those working as stewards of our federal lands. I'll give our military heroes an even bigger boost. And then I'll eliminate the rest of the federal workforce altogether. Whole departments will disappear within a week. HUD, Education, Agriculture, Labor, Health and Human Services, TSA...all will be shut down, their employees furloughed, and their buildings and equipment sold or turned over to the states. You want real savings? You'll have 'em, right here.

Now if you think that that stuff's radical, just wait until you see what I'd do in the next week when I get around to dealing with illegal immigration.

Ah well...we'll just have to wait a bit. Sadly, it seems that a majority of the voters preferred Obama over me this past election. But had you all just written me in...

Sometimes art imitates life

In Allen Park, Michigan, Ricardo West, a Michael Jackson impersonator was charged with child molesting.

Oh--and he drove a school bus, too.

When I'm President, child molesters won't go to jail any more.
Once they're convicted, they'll be chained to an old engine block and promptly tossed off the closest pier.

The Italian guy's got the right idea...

OK, it's not often that I agree with representatives of the Italian government--in fact, this might be the first time ever--but I can't find a bit of fault with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's suggestion about how immigration into his country ought to be handled.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi landed in hot water again after joking that Italy's doors were only open to attractive immigrants, The Sun reported Saturday.

The gaffe-prone politician, 73, held immigration talks Friday with Albanian Prime Minister Sali Berisha.

Berisha looked uncomfortable as Berlusconi joked at a press conference, "We will only accept pretty girls from Albania."

Naturally, this didn't go over too well. Opposition lawmaker Paola Pellegrini slammed the quip, calling Berlusconi "an indecorous old man." But then I'm thinking that she's probably either a feminist or else she's ugly. Personally, I like the idea, and when I get to be President, that will by MY immigration policy--just highly educated immigrants with needed skills and hot chicks--only I will allow pretty girls from every country, not just Albania. A country can never have too many attractive women.

First of all, let me be perfectly clear: America already has some of the finest-looking women in the world, and a lot of them. However we also have a fair number of women who aren't even trying to stay fit and look good, and maybe--just maybe--if these less-than-fit women already here start seeing all of these hot new arrivals walking around, they'll be motivated to put the Hostess products down, get up off their couches, and hit the gym. In that regard, my policy would benefit everyone by increasing the health of America's women, giving American men more and better dating options and beautifying the country in general. Talk about a win/win plan.

So vote for me in 2012. I'll give you more change than you can handle.

PS--to all the beautiful women who visit and regularly post to this blog...you are, of course, already perfect. America just needs more women like you.

People who need to be shot.

When I get to be President, certain offenses will be punishable by immediate termination, without appeal or even trial. Today's events have brought two such offenses to mind:

--People who walk into a coffee shop or take-out place at lunch time with a list of orders for several other people who are not present, especially if it requires the entire staff of the establishment to ignore everyone else while they work on assembling that one large order which could have been faxed or phoned in yet wasn't. I will deputize anyone standing in line behind such people to summarily shoot them.

--People who coast along obliviously (or deliberately) in the left lane--which is known as "the passing lane" for a reason--of a multi-lane highway at 55mph at rush hour, clogging up the whole damned highway by preventing anyone from passing them. However in the spirit of trying to educate people first, I will only have offenders executed for second offenses. First-time offenders will merely be pulled from their cars by squads of ex-LAPD officers and publicly beaten like Rodney King.

Because Margaret Miller can't raise a kid right, she sues the police.

So what we have here is a case where some single mom lets her little crotch-fruit run wild with a skateboard and no manners until he runs up against a police officer in Baltimore. And when the officer gives her baby boy a bit of a lesson on how to interact with adult authority figures--a lesson that Margaret Miller should have taught her own child years ago--she sees dollar signs and runs down to the courthouse, shyster lawyer in tow, and files a lawsuit demanding that her and her little precious be given a bag of cash because her boy's feelings were hurt. That's right: hurt feelings. He wasn't arrested, he wasn't injured--he was just scolded. but in Margaret Miller's world, no one can ever scold her little darling. And if someone does, she wants cash.

Fortunately a judge just tossed her frivolous lawsuit out.

BALTIMORE, Md. - A civil lawsuit filed by the mother of a defiant skateboarder who was berated and grabbed by a Baltimore police officer while skating near the Inner Harbor has been thrown out by a judge.

"The family is incredibly disappointed, and feels wronged," attorney William P. Blackford tells WTOP. "They've had their day in court taken away."

Blackford filed the suit on behalf of Margaret Miller, and her son, Eric Bush.

Three weeks before the civil case filed against Salvatore Rivieri - a 17-year-veteran - was to go before a jury, Baltimore Circuit Court Judge Evelyn Cannon granted a defense motion to have the case dropped.

Rivieri had been suspended, but was cleared of any criminal wrongdoing.

A Baltimore police spokesman tells WTOP Rivieri has been back on patrol for several months.

Blackford says Judge Cannon's decision essentially trumped another Circuit Court judge's decision to allow the civil case to go forward, even though it was filed more than 180 days after the deadline.

Blackford had argued Maryland's law was unclear whether a juvenile's complaint can be held to the same 180 day standard.

"The family has the right to appeal, and I believe has a very strong case for appeal," Blackford says.

The 2007 exchange between Rivieri and the then 14-year-old Bush had been surreptitiously videotaped by one of the teenager's friends. It showed the officer pointing at the teen while lecturing him.

"First of all you disrespected me, this badge, and my department. You understand me? When I'm talking to you, you shut your mouth and you listen," Rivieri said.

"Obviously your parents don't put a foot in your butt quite enough, because you don't understand the meaning of respect."

The teenager's quietly mumbled responses were barely audible. Rivieri took offense to how he was being addressed.

"I'm not 'man.' I'm not 'dude.' I am Officer Rivieri."

In the defense's pretrial statements. Rivieri's attorneys said the teen "held his skateboard in a threatening manner," prompting Rivieri to push Bush to the ground, before seizing the board.

Blackford says it's unclear whether Miller, a single mother, and her son have the money to pursue an appeal to Maryland's Court of Special Appeals.

"The city has thrown up every roadblock in this case," Blackford says. "They should have just issued an apology, and that would likely have made this go away."

Fine, you want an apology? I'm sorry that William Blackford was ever admitted to the bar of Maryland or any other state. It's lawyers like him who give the profession such a bad reputation. I'm also sorry that Margaret Miller was even allowed to have a kid since it appear from his attire, his haircut and his demeanor that he's nothing but a little slacker with a future in fast food employment ahead of him. What's more, I apologize because this society that I'm a part of has devolved to the point where slovenly, rude kids are accepted and tolerated.

When I was a little kid, we were taught that adults were always "Sir" or Ma'am" and any teacher, neighbor, church member or police officer them had as much authority over any kid in the absence of the kid's actual parents as the parents did. If any adult saw me doing anything wrong, not only could they chastise me for it, but when they told my parents--and they usually did--I got it that much more from my dad when he found out. It wasn't acceptable to be a "bad kid" and bring disrespect upon the family, and punishment was sure and serious when I or my friends erred in that fashion.

But now we've had a couple of generations of single moms raising broods of little slackers who can do no wrong in the eyes of their mothers and who have never had a man in their lives to teach them what respect is, including the need to show it to others. It's because of things like this that our crime rate is rising, our scholastic achievement scores are dropping, and Democrats who support a "if it feels good, do it" policy are ruining our country by lowering the bar even further on behalf of the underachievers who vote them into office. And it all begins on a micro scale with kids like this punk, Eric Bush, and his layabout mom Margaret Miller. So my advice to Margaret is simple: Put down the bag of chips, turn off Oprah, get up off the couch, and start teaching your kid how to behave. Because you, Margaret Miller, are bringing down my country by raising bad kids and also by making things harder for countless other mothers who actually do their jobs and try to raise decent kids.

Hell, when I get to be President, I'm deporting Margaret Miller and her kid, probably to France, because one more surly kid and indifferent mom wouldn't even be noticed there.

On the immigration protests

OK, I've been absent most of this week because work's got me in some pretty intense training that quite frankly is kicking my ass. By the time I drag myself back here to the Lair, I just want food, a hot bath, and bed. I'll be training next week too, so this blog is liable to be a bit slow.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not still paying attention to the issues. This week, the one that's been frosting me is the protests being staged around the country by people opposed to the new immigration laws that congress is working on. Principally these laws will make it a felony to sneak into our country illegally or help an illegal sneak in. This legislation is finally coming because most Americans are sick to death of people flocking into our nation without being invited and sucking on our social service network like it's their birthright. Right now there are an estimated twelve million illegals here and they're taking jobs from Americans while using our hospital emergency rooms as free clinics and sending their kids to the schools that we pay to educate our kids. Many are lifestyle criminals and their gangs like MS-13 have made many of our cities very dangerous for police and law-abiding citizens. And Frankly they need to be scooped up en masse and deported but I don't see congress getting that brave. The legislation they're working on now though is a good start.

However now there are massed protests, including marches by many illegals who proudly tout their status and call the rest of us "racist" while insisting that they aren't criminals. This is over the top. Here we have people who aren't even supposed to be in our country and they have the nerve to sneak in here like thieves and then condemn us for not approving of their presence. Wosre yet, they try to redefine the issue and accuse the rest of us of being against immigration per se. That allows them to grab the moral high ground by likening us all to modern-day Archie Bunkers. That sort of smear tactic needs to be loudly condemned and corrected every time they try it. I don't think that too many people oppose immigration in general. Personally I welcome any immigrant who comes here legally after passing a criminal background check and a medical screening and who has demonstrated that he can support himself here. We all benefit from more doctors, engineers, scientists and businessmen. We even have a place here for unskilled labor in the construction and agricultural trades. But it has to be people who apply for permission to enter our country and come in through the same channels that most every other legal immigrant has come in through since America became a country. Yes, we are a nation of immigrants, as the protesters like to say, but my ancestors came in legally through Ellis Island and most people here can say the same thing. Our ancestors didn't creep in under the border fence. Those of us angry about illegal immigration are upset about the illegal part of the concept. And the nerve of these people to now demand that the rest of us treat them as equals. Well sorry there Paco, but if you're not here legally then you're not equal and you've got no business demanding anything or leeching off of us by grabbing welfare money, moving into publicly-subsidized housing units (meant for Americans) or putting your kids in our schools. But it has nothing to do with your ethnic make-up or origin and everything to do with your status here: you're illegal! Now get out and go home!

A police officer that I know well told me that he has encountered and/or arrested hundreds of illegals. They drive without licenses or insurance, often while drunk. They fish illegally without paying for licenses or observing limits and they're often involved in gang activity. And after I lock them up and they get released on bond pending their court date, they just don't bother showing up for court. Why should they? This isn't their country and they don't feel a need to respect our laws. They just get new fake ID cards with different names and go on about their business. And that business usually involves taking jobs that Americans would take.

Some of the apologists for the illegals claim that if we deported them all and employers had to pay decent wages and social security for American workers, we'd all pay for it in the form of higher prices our food and construction costs. To this, I respond that we're already paying for it in the form of government aid to hospitals, school and jails that are packed with illegals. And when an illegal gets money, all too often they send it back to the countries that they came from, and those dollars are then gone from the US economy forever. They'll never be spent in American stores or pay wages to other Americans again. That money's out of our system forever. That may be good for Mexico (Money sent home from mostly illegal workers is their number #2 source of revenue, behind oil and ahead of tourism) but it's bad for the US.

And finally, immigrants to America have traditionally come here to be Americans and integrate into the Amerucan culture. They have learned our language and tried to blend in and adopt our ways. However now we have millions of illegal hispanics who come here and insist on remaining Mexicans, Salvadorans, Guatemalans, etc. They want to keep speaking Spanish and make no effort to learn English. They demand that we cater to them in Spanish and teach their kids in Spanish. One of the reasons that I left Alexandria, Virginia was that I got sick of not being able to order food in a restaurant or get help in a store because I only speak English and everyone who works there is speaking Spanish. Even Wal-Mart had bilingual signs on every aisle so that they could pander to people who aren't even trying to learn the language of this country. I couldn't stand it.

Now it's time to shut the protests down and that includes locking up anyone who brags about being here illegally. And we need to make it clear that we're not objecting to law-abiding immigrants but only to trespassers. And anyone who sticks up for these trespassers--like Senator Hillary Clinton--needs to be deported right along with the illegals that we round up. And when I'm President, there will be a wall built along our the entire length of our southern border and it'll be built with the forced labor of all the illegals that we arrest inside our country.

And here's a perfect example of the respect that these illegals and their supporters have for our country--here's our flag thrown on the ground at one of their rallies in Tucson this past week. This picture is truly worth a thousand words: