Thursday, April 28, 2011

And lawyers wonder why America despises most of them

So an ambulance-chasing weasel by the name of Mark Gold is suing the Gold Rush strip club, trying to get his gold back.
MIAMI (CN) - An attorney sued a strip club, claiming it got him so drunk he became "temporarily unconscious," and it rang up $18,930 on his credit card.
Mark S. Gold, who specializes in traffic cases, sued Turntable Entertainment and Production Co. dba the Gold Rush, in Miami-Dade County Court.
Gold claims that in November 2010, "Gold Rush knowingly and continuously served plaintiff alcoholic beverages to the extent that he was rendered intoxicated, partially or temporarily unconscious, and further to the extent that he had a complete loss of judgment, rational thought, or ability to enter into lawful contracts or agreements.
He adds: "Gold Rush having knowingly caused plaintiff's irrational state of mind, continued to ply him with liquor in order to charge his credit card excessive amounts to the extent of $18,930.
"Defendant knew, or should have known, of plaintiff's intoxicated state, having caused it."
Gold wants his money back, and punitive damages, for unfair and deceptive trade. He filed the case pro se.
"Pro se" means that he's acting as his own lawyer. And you know old adage about a how a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client...I'm thinking that Mark Gold proves that statement perfectly.

Here's the actual filing. Note that even though he's representing himself, he's still demanding attorney's fees.

What a scumbag.


  1. Um... yeah, right... This one could get funny before it's over!

  2. Maybe he should get a better grammar checker: He's seeking "...cost's..."?

    Oh, wait, that was the paralegal's fault. A super-attorney like that would not stoop so low as to actually enter the information into the document processor.

    He's got better things to do, like hanging out at the GoldRush Lounge.

    Yeah, keep it classy there, Counselor Gold!

  3. Does that mean that the defendants Mark sues can get the cases dismissed? Hey, if he is too drunk to have contractual capacity, the isn't he too drunk to certify his court filings?

    And shouldn't a guardian or conservator be appointed over him before he is allowed to practice law again?

  4. Pro se?

    I think Mark Gold is working pro bozo.

    My apologies to the late Larry Harmon...