Sunday, May 15, 2011

Stupid is Supposed to Hurt

Pain is nature's way of slapping you on the head and telling you to smarten up next time.

Normally I'm quite sympathetic to new amputees for obvious reasons. But when one is as dumb as Ponce Wyckoff--climbing between railroad cars while holding your two-year old son--well, not so much.
A 42-year-old Ecorse father had his arm cut off as he impatiently tried to bypass a stopped train with his 2-year-old.

On Thursday, Ponce Wyckoff climbed up the ladder and across the coupler. As he tried to climb down the other side of the train at Visger near Eighth in Ecorse, the train began to move, Ecorse Detective Lt. Stephen Salas said.

Wyckoff's son, Karon, was on his shoulders, Salas said.

"Whenever they start, there's a violent jerk," Salas said. "This threw him off balance, he lost his footing. As he's falling, he pushes the child off his shoulders, both of them fall. As soon as he hits the ground, the train rolls over his right arm and severs his right arm."

A woman waiting on the other side of the tracks tried to catch the boy, who hit the ground and suffered a bump to his head, Salas said. He was treated at Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit and is expected to be fine, Salas said.

The father, who lost a lot of blood, was in critical condition Thursday at Oakwood Hospital in Dearborn but is expected to survive, Salas said.
Seriously, 42 years old is a little late in life to be making stupid decisions of that caliber. But then it's also a bit late to be having a two-year old son AND not working at 3PM on a weekday afternoon.

Anyone care to bet on how long it takes this guy to find a cheap lawyer and try to sue the railroad? Here's hoping that Conrail stands tough and refuses to pay so much as a dime in settlement. But then this did happen in Michigan, and close enough to Detroit that the odds of finding twelve jurors who don't regard the court system as a lottery program is going to be problematic.


  1. Geez. A near-nominee for a Darwin Award.

  2. Anonymous9:24 PM

    Idiot. I hope he looses the inevitable court case and has to repay a mess of legal fees (though I bet that won't happen...)

    Also, forgive the nit-picking, but Conrail was split up between CSX and Norfolk Southern back in the late 90s.


  3. Nah. He's already bred. Darwin awards are for when the chlorine is applied to the gene pool *before* the idiot breeds.

    Applying it afterward isn't fair to the kid--give 'em a chance to prove themselves a useful recessive. Two is too young to be able to make that call.