The weather people are saying that Hurricane Isaac could hit you and possibly be as bad as Hurricane Katrina was. That being the case, please allow me to offer you some constructive advice.
1. When The Man tells you to evacuate, for God's sake, go! Don't sit around until the shutters blow off your houses then act all surprised. You were told to go last time and many of you chose not to. That was all on you and not George Bush if you chose not to go. And please--don't tell me that you could not get out in the time they gave you. The rest of us saw all those school buses under water in your city yards. And public transportation notwithstanding, we all know that if there were free Snoop Dog tickets or a couple cartons of cigarettes waiting for you in Lafayette, you'd find a way to get there in a couple of hours.
2. If/when the storm hits, don't come around again demanding free debit cards charged with cash. We all saw how you used the ones we gave you the last time at casinos, Louis Vuitton stores, strip clubs and even on cruise ships afterwards. Shame on you, and shame on us if we let you take advantage again. This time you can just deal with it like everyone else does when bad things happen.
3. If you live on the public dime in Section 8 or public housing and we taxpayers are nice enough to relocate you to other public housing in Texas, STAY THERE! Don't demand transportation back to New Orleans and new project apartments again. If we graciously re-establish you in Houston, you need to remain there unless and until you earn enough money to move yourself back to New Orleans and buy your own place there. And Democrats, don't even think of using federal rebuilding money to bring them all back and install them in new public housing, not even if it means that the next election might result in some entrenched black politicians losing their seats. Contrary to what Ray Nagin said, New Orleans does not have to be a "Chocolate city" at the end of the day. I think that a safe, productive and genuinely diverse city with a majority of people who work for a living would be better.
4. Don't loot. If it's not yours, keep your hands off it. And if you do lot and the police shoot you, well you had it coming.
Bottom line: You saw what happened the last time. We all remember. You were, with few exceptions, the most dependent children of the state that this country has ever seen and you brought shame upon America with the way that you acted. Now many of you are back in the Crescent City again and you may get another dousing like Katrina gave you. I just want to be the first American to let you know that this time, it's all on you. Don't come around me with your hands out and mouths open again, because after they way you all acted the last time, you've got nothing coming.
Oh--and this is directed just at the people in New Orleans. We all know how many thousands of other people on the Gulf got hit, too. But being cut from a better cloth, they picked themselves up, rebuilt their homes and businesses, and went on about their lives without demanding that the rest of us give them new TVs, FEMA trailers, and brand new homes in newly-rebuilt neighborhoods back in the same old flood zones. The rest of you just did what you needed to and you'll have my support this time around if you need it. But New Orleans...you'd better have Ray Nagin and Sean Penn on speed dial, because if you call me again, I'm not answering.
Signed: The taxpayers and working people of America.