Monday, August 13, 2012

Dear Miss Manners...

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was supposed to get married yesterday but I stabbed my fiancee in the heart twice by accident and now they are telling me that he's dead. I have two questions for you. Do people usually die when you stab them in the heart (so I'll know for next time), and do I have to return the wedding presents?

Signed: Na Cola

Gentle Reader: Your mama seriously named you "Na Cola"? Wow. Oh, and write back from prison after the trial and tell me how that whole "it was an accident" defense works out.


  1. Anonymous9:56 AM

    Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence...

    If they'd named her Na DIET Cola, maybe there wouldn't be the weight issue (?)

  2. I can't even begin to imagine the bizarre pre-wedding sex-games that would require a knife-wound in the chest, whether it was supposed to penetrate the heart or not. Man...WTF was she even thinking???

  3. She didn't mean to kill him. Those were love stabs!

  4. WTF is right!!! Sigh...