Massachusetts Man Wets Pants Over Found Gun

And you wonder why this one state consistently elects nutless girlymen like John Kerry, Barney Frank and Ted Kennedy to office. Well if Alberto Pina of Roxbury is representative of the citizenry there, then it's crystal clear: It's because they're all nutless losers.

Read this story: Fisherman reels in a handgun

Simply put, a guy goes fishing. His hook snags a handgun out of the water. The pistol is clearly non-funtional due to marine growth but still, it's a handgun.

“I reeled in a gun,” Pina said, still hyperventilating as he described his catch more than an hour later. “To pull something like that out of the water is extremely dangerous. I didn’t want my son to see something like that, but he did. Horrible,” Pina said. “When I pulled it up, I dropped it over at the pier. I didn’t dare to touch it.”

So what does Mr. Massachusetts Metrosexual do? Well by his own words, he hyperventilates. He panics. He laments the fact that his son might have seen it. And then he calls a press conference.

He also called the police, but not before going on Facebook and Twitter to figure out what he should do, per his own blog article on the find.

I pulled my rod upward with all my strength to hook the “fish” and then reeled it in with a big smile on my big face. When I pulled it up, it was this weird shaped object. I couldn't recognize at the first sight but then as I brought it closer, I realized I had just caught a gun. Surprised! Confused! Upset! I was trying to figure out how to deal with new catch. After a Facebook posting and Twitter update, I decided to notify the Boston Police.

Now had I found such a thing, I'd have been calm and even happy, and it'd be undergoing restoration and repair as we speak. But one thing that you would not see was me hyperventilating and wringing my hands like some effeminate Nancy-boy and bemoaning the state of the world. And I'm offended that he's allowed to vote and that his vote counts as much as mine does. This guy makes me feel sad for America and for men in general.

But at least now I know why Massachusetts elects the losers that they do. Get ready for Senator Warren, everybody.

Oh, and Alberto? Grow a pair, guy. If you come unglued when you merely see a firearm, I hate to think what you do when you break a nail or get a run in your stocking.