Stupid Lawyer Tricks: Climbing into a trash compactor

I could make a jibe about her being "trashed" or "smashed" but it just seems too easy after reading this report about Margaret Baumer of New York. Besides, it's already been done:

A Recent Cardozo Law Grad Gets Trashed — Literally

Yep. Brainiac attorney Maggie Baumer, fresh from a night of drinking, staggers home and realizes that she gave her apartment keys to a friend. Now rather than call that friend and ask to be let in, Maggie, being the bright, considerate sort that just every law firm races to hire, buzzed all of the apartment doorbells until some thoughtless moron let her into the building. Then she got the bright idea to try to get into her building's courtyard VIA THE TRASH CHUTE so that she could force her apartment's window open from there.

Cue trash compactor in three...two...one...

Sigh. Some people are so stupid that it's almost a shame when they survive stuff like this, because it means that they'll continue to roam the world, doing more stupid stuff and maybe even passing on the stupid via procreation. But Maggie survived after the fire department responded and spent 45 minutes wrecking a perfectly good trash compactor to free her arm. I kinda hope that the landlords take the repairs to it out of her security deposit, just because she was so stupid.

But hey, stupid must work for the law firm of Goldstein & Lee. Personally, I think if I ever need a lawyer, I'll stick to law firms who hire people a little brighter than Maggie.

As for law students everywhere, you might expect to see a story problem like this one on your next Tort Law class exam:

"One night, "Margie", who is intoxicated, falls into the trash compactor at the Blackacre Apartments after sliding headfirst down the garbage chute during an attempt to break into her own apartment from the courtyard, which she believes she can access from the building's cellar. Margie was locked out of her apartment and the building because she gave her own keys to a friend but managed to gain entry to the building by randomly pressing tenants' doorbells until someone just buzzed her in. As a result of her encounter with the trash compactor, Margie lost the use of her right arm. Discuss Margie's possible claims for damages against: The Landlord, the tenant who buzzed her into the building, the bar where she got drunk, the manufacturer of the trash compactor, the city fire department, the hospital, and/or her own parents (for raising such a nitwit). This state uses the Pure Comparative Fault rule in Tort cases."