In lieu of actual content, here's a joke.

Two hunters from New Jersey are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His buddy whips out his cell phone and dials 9-1-1. He gasps out to the operator, "My friend just collapsed. I think he's dead. What can I do?"

The operator, in a slow, soothing voice, says, "First, just try to relax and calm down so I can help you. Second, let's make sure he really is dead."

A moment later the operator hears a shot, then the guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"