Tuesday, January 07, 2014

It's so cold that...

Just back from picking Belle up. Noticed that it's downright cold out there. In fact, it's so cold that...

1. It's so cold that Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick.

2. It's so cold that my grandma's false teeth are chattering, and they're still in the glass.

3. It's so cold the lawyers have their hands in their OWN pockets.

4. It's so cold that flashers are now just carrying pictures.

5. It's so cold I had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.

6. It's so cold that Cuban refugee's are skating into Miami.

7. It's so cold, I saw a teen boy pull his pants up.

8. It's so cold, the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.

9. It's so cold, we had to chop up the piano for firewood. (But we only got two chords.)

10. It's so cold, Boy Scouts are offering to de-ice little old ladies.



Thank you. I'll be here all week.

11 comments:

  1. Man, I hope you get better soon and get some air under your butt! You're going stir crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ juvat: It's so cold that my airplane's battery died...and it was on the charger in my basement!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "And please try the Veal and don't forget to tip your wait staff...."

    ReplyDelete
  4. And the winnah is numbah 9... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Apparently in your neck of the woods, its not so cold that Democrats have their hands in their own pockets.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pretty freaking cold here! Well for us in the South anyway. Stay warm. I'm not trying this fish even though you well be here "all the week". Don't give up the day job =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. It is so cold in Indianapolis the polar bears have campfires

    ReplyDelete
  8. 'Round here, I learned a new phrase: "I hate this damnyankee weather."

    ReplyDelete