Monday, April 21, 2014

Now here's an idea. What if the polar ice caps did melt?

Per this article, the sea level would rise about 260 feet, wiping out an awful lot of coastal real estate around the world.

Would YOU be underwater if the polar caps melted? Map reveals what our planet would look like if sea levels rose by 260ft

Well I looked to see if I'd be ok, and I would. The new "coastline" in this area would be the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and I reside on the reverse slope of that range, decently above elevation 260. I might be walking distance to the new beaches but I'd come through ok. Washington DC would be gone though. and so would much of the eastern seaboard, including New York City, Boston, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and pretty much all of Florida. New Orleans would be gone and Houston would, too. Over on the Left Coast, San Diego, much of Los Angeles and San Francisco would be gone, and so would places like Portland and Seattle. In fact, much of the concentrated Blue that makes those areas politically cancerous for America would be wiped out.

Now I'd miss New Orleans, but I'd be willing to call it a fair trade. The question shouldn't be "what if..." but "how can we make this happen?"

Of course I assume that the rise in water levels will be gradual enough to allow us to evacuate the decent, hard-working Americans who live in those areas right along with the contents of the libraries, the art galleries, and the equipment of the businesses in those areas. Naturally we'd have to put up barrier walls and screen who we let come out of those areas though, just to make sure that we don't re-create more blue states inside the perimeter of our new America. If you've got a job and a solid work history, or are a retiree, come on over and welcome. If you've got a lengthy criminal record, spent your life on welfare or if you're a career politician, here's a set of water wings. Good luck. And if you're dumb enough to show up at a checkpoint with a medical marijuana card or an "Obama" or "Hillary" sticker on your car, just turn around, because we're already at capacity for morons over here. In fact, stick around, because we'll probably deport a few that were living here already and they can ride back with you. And Senator Joe Manchin? You can think about how sorry you are for selling every gun-owning, Obamacare-hating West Virginian out as you and Nancy Pelosi dog-paddle towards Europe. But hey, if you get tired, we hear that Kim Kardashian can be used as a floatation device.

Yeah, I'm liking the thought of a smaller, redder America. How many of our nukes would it take to melt all of that ice, do you reckon? And who else should we bar admittance to or kick out?

18 comments:

  1. Works for me. I do hope you would let me out of the Calif. pond though. I could help set up the check point near Placerville.

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  2. I'd be sitting on some sweet beachfront property.
    Bring it.

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  3. Looks like most the crap on the coasts is gone - perhaps if we got a second chance we could stop them from gaining a foothold! Kinda funny, when I was in middle school - early 60s - the government had a plan to nuke the Antartica and then cover it in coal dust to melt large parts of it, change the path of the North Atlantic current and stop global cooling. Ya just gotta wonder what's next.

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  4. LOL, works for me...

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  5. You could lose the entire North Pole ice cap and the sea level wouldn't budge an inch. I call BS

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  6. The stupidity of the 'global warming' crowd is this...

    If the Arctic melted (there is no land up there) the sea level will remain unchanged as when ice melts it just takes up it's own weight by volume.

    If the Antarctic melted, which IS land underneath all that ice, then as the see rose then the area covered by water would increase and far more RAIN would be the result. More and bigger lakes, more and bigger rivers, more snow on mountains, etc... some would also go underground.

    So I doubt it would end up as they envision, for we do know the global warmest 'vision' as been way way off up to now.

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    1. Don't forget -- as land bound ice sheets melt, the land itself RISES, once the weight is removed.

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  7. Borepatch and Paul, stop wrecking my fantasy of millions fewer liberals!

    Fine--we'll just nuke Seattle and maybe drop a few on the San Andreas Fault and call it a day when western California drops into the ocean. I could be happy with that.

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  8. I'd happily drown...

    gfa

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  9. GTG here. When I used to turn the 172's nose to 180 at the north fence, check the mixture and magnetos, I'd set the altimeter to 684.

    Woo-hoo - 424 feet to spare!

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  10. It does not hurt to have a dream of zero liberals

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  11. When you have a glass of ice water and it melts does the water spill over the top? Think about it!

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  12. I WOULD miss Charleston, SC.

    But I'll take guard duty at the bridges turning back vehicles with Obama stickers.

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  13. I trust it was understood I meant rather than use a Kardashian as a Mae West? :-)

    gfa

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    1. I'd hope so. We're keeping you.

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  14. Looks like the Clinton Presidential Library would be on dry ground. I'll bet a lot of Libs would try to hole up there. We could surround it with concertina wire and lick them in. That way we could at least keep them contained.

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  15. I LIVE in New Orleans and think it would be a fair trade.

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    1. I just moved out of NOLA and could sacrifice it.

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