Now here's an idea. What if the polar ice caps did melt?

Per this article, the sea level would rise about 260 feet, wiping out an awful lot of coastal real estate around the world.

Would YOU be underwater if the polar caps melted? Map reveals what our planet would look like if sea levels rose by 260ft

Well I looked to see if I'd be ok, and I would. The new "coastline" in this area would be the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and I reside on the reverse slope of that range, decently above elevation 260. I might be walking distance to the new beaches but I'd come through ok. Washington DC would be gone though. and so would much of the eastern seaboard, including New York City, Boston, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and pretty much all of Florida. New Orleans would be gone and Houston would, too. Over on the Left Coast, San Diego, much of Los Angeles and San Francisco would be gone, and so would places like Portland and Seattle. In fact, much of the concentrated Blue that makes those areas politically cancerous for America would be wiped out.

Now I'd miss New Orleans, but I'd be willing to call it a fair trade. The question shouldn't be "what if..." but "how can we make this happen?"

Of course I assume that the rise in water levels will be gradual enough to allow us to evacuate the decent, hard-working Americans who live in those areas right along with the contents of the libraries, the art galleries, and the equipment of the businesses in those areas. Naturally we'd have to put up barrier walls and screen who we let come out of those areas though, just to make sure that we don't re-create more blue states inside the perimeter of our new America. If you've got a job and a solid work history, or are a retiree, come on over and welcome. If you've got a lengthy criminal record, spent your life on welfare or if you're a career politician, here's a set of water wings. Good luck. And if you're dumb enough to show up at a checkpoint with a medical marijuana card or an "Obama" or "Hillary" sticker on your car, just turn around, because we're already at capacity for morons over here. In fact, stick around, because we'll probably deport a few that were living here already and they can ride back with you. And Senator Joe Manchin? You can think about how sorry you are for selling every gun-owning, Obamacare-hating West Virginian out as you and Nancy Pelosi dog-paddle towards Europe. But hey, if you get tired, we hear that Kim Kardashian can be used as a floatation device.

Yeah, I'm liking the thought of a smaller, redder America. How many of our nukes would it take to melt all of that ice, do you reckon? And who else should we bar admittance to or kick out?