Thursday, June 18, 2015

A chick on the ten-spot?

So long, Alexander Hamilton.

I mean, thanks for being a founding father of our nation and helping shape this country's first few shaky but crucial administrations and all, but the current Panderer-in-Chief and his cadre of appeasers has decided to throw feminists a bone and knock you off our currency in favor of some yet-to-be-named woman who has undoubtedly done far, far less for our country. But you're just an "old white guy" and you probably owned saves, so according to today's (ignorant) youth, you've got to go. (And you're probably next, Old Hickory.)

Ten Dollar Bill Will Feature Woman, Treasury Announces

The Treasury Dept. hasn't decided who it will feature though--got to balance the competing factional interests and decide which group will help the democrats the most--but in lieu of their decision, I'd like to offer up some of my own picks.

First off, I'd like to see my mom on the new bills.

I nominate her because she's almost as old as Hamilton and Jackson and because she's always been willing to send me pictures of herself. If she was on the money, she could send me lots more of them. (She also shoots a 1911 and knows to keep her finger out of the trigger guard, showing that she's got both taste and brains.)

Next, I'd offer up classic great American woman such as Brigid or Tam. Each has been making the blogosphere a better place for years and they're just good people, totally representative of America.

But failing the public-at-large's willingness to agree with me--the feminist agitators keep tossing up names like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Harriet Tubman and Margaret Sanger--I'd suggest these iconic American women, each of whom spent a lifetime clearly representing class and beauty and making the rest of the world want to come here.

Raquel Welch. From her early days in westerns like Hannie Calder and Bandelero! , she sold America to the world.

Bo Derek was a "ten" in the movie 10. Enough said to get her on the ten, eh?

Audrey Hepburn. Who wouldn't want to hoard ten-dollar bills with her as Holly Golightly on them?

Talk about Americana! I had this poster of Farrah Fawcett when I was a boy. Every red-blooded (straight) American male had one. It'd be perfect for the new money and I'd only accept payment for anything in tens.

Tanya Roberts. Yowsers! The last Angel of Charlie's Angels' fame, she was also a blockbuster knockout in movies like Sheena and Nighteyes. And she's still pretty hot.

And generations of men fell in love with Lauren Bacall. A bill with her on it would definitely be more popular than one with anyone that the left is currently championing. And if she was good enough for Bogart...

Don't want to go back quite that far? Well then how about Miss Bettie Page? Loved and adored by generations of military men and emulated by countless young American girls.

Any of these women better represent America and would be more pleasing to the eye than the bitter leftist harpies that the feminist crowds are lobbying for. I think that any and all of them should be placed on a ballot, and let Americans decide...but just the men, ok?

And naturally I've still gotta offer up this gal as a candidate:
More ethical than Hillary and cheaper to keep than Michelle Obama.

Of course the way things are going in this society today, it'll probably just be Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner on the next ten. Sigh.


  1. Given current events, it will probably be Caitlynn Jenner.

  2. Total bummer. Bumping Hamilton from the tenner's gonna put a burr under my saddle...

  3. Keep Hamilton on the ten. Come out with a $3 bill and put on whatever icon the (P)regressives want.

  4. Hillary on a $3 bill!

  5. Hey! Why not the "Kennedy Approved" MARILYN MONROE?

    After all, if she was good enough for John and Bobbie....

  6. More likley to Black and Gay and a Dem if BHO has anything to do with the choice.

  7. They should leave Hamilton alone and replace Jackson... Hamilton is actually RESPONSIBLE for our currency...

    1. Blasphemy! Jackson was a real man who fought duels, killed indians, beat a would-be assassin with his cane and chased the British out of Louisiana. Of course the left hates him for all of these things now.

  8. Aaron Burr did the young nation a favor by plugging that closet monarchist.

    Howabout Jeane Kirkpatrick?

    1. Oh, I could go with her on the bill. Wouldn't want to see her in a bikini but she was arguably the best Ambassador to the UN that we've ever had.

    2. Wouldn't want to see anybody on our money in a speedo, really, but that' s not really a job qualifier. :)

  9. Brigid!
    Hands down!


  10. How about Ms Dolezal says she black but was born white and she say's she AC/DC and most likley to be a Dem.

  11. Anonymous7:02 PM

    I would sooner see Miss Belle on the ten dollar bill rather than any of the people the lib want.