Wednesday, July 01, 2009

On spiders and sissies

So this morning I head into the bathroom, about to indulge in a nice, hot shower. Fortunately for me, I actually look at the shower knobs instead of just reaching out and turning them as I often do, because there is a fair-sized Nursery spider sitting right between the knobs.

By “fair-sized”, I mean that he’s from 2” to 3” long. They get bigger.

Now these spiders have been found in the lair and blogged before, notably here (with picture) and here. I’ve encountered a few others that haven’t been blogged as well, and when I find them, I capture them and release them outside. Small spiders are icky with their webs and such; these larger hunting spiders are just cool.

So silly me, I decided to share my treasure with others before putting it outside.

First I called Lagniappe in. He came bounding into the bathroom as if he was about to be the recipient of a treat, then stopped short when he saw the spider. He also has seen these before, and it shames me to report that this once-fearless police dog backed right out of the bathroom and skedaddled down the hall to parts unknown. He wasn’t having any part of that thing.


Then as I was in the kitchen trying to find a cup with a lid to catch it in, Nicki bid me a good morning so I invited her into the bathroom to show her this fascinating creature. Of course I did not tell her what was there because Nicki usually likes surprises. But judging by her scream of “Oh my GOD!!!” and her bout of hyperventilation as she ran back out of the room, I got the impression that she didn’t much care for this one.

Well if you’re not even going to look at it…

So I captured it without too much trouble, and I eventually got Nicki to open the door to the outside for me as I needed both hands to hold the cup with the spider in it and keep the lid on it. I could feel the spider scrabbling around inside the cup, and I knew that if it got away from me now, I’d have a hell of a time catching it again until it calmed down and came back out in the open. As it was, I wasn’t allowed to even bring it out into the hall until Nicki had run all the way back down to the kitchen and barricaded herself in the pantry, no doubt with Lagniappe for company.

Pair of Chickenshits.

I eventually released the spider outdoors and it scampered off. Then I went to calm Nicki.
I probably should not have told her that these spiders are fairly common around here. Now she says that she’s not coming over any more.
I also probably should not have told her that they certainly live in HER house too. She doesn’t live that far away and these creatures are indigenous to the area.

“But I’ve never EVER seen one of those,” she proclaimed. I told her that just because she hasn’t seen them, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a bunch of them lurking in the dark recesses of her garage, basement, attic, and yard. And being nocturnal creatures that only come out in the dark, odds of her never seeing one are pretty good, however that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there in abundance.

When I last saw her this morning, she was calling her realtor. Something about putting her house up for sale.

And I thought that these former Army chicks were supposed to be tough. Alvin York and Audie Murphy would surely not be impressed.


  1. I have the heebie-jeebies just READING about this. Spiders make me scream like the girl that I am. Your description of the spider 'scrabbling' around in the cup made the back of my neck feel crawly! Ugh--still shuddering!

  2. LOL!

    Sorry, but the spider was big enough and active enough that I really could feel it moving around in the cup, almost like a small, eight-legged mouse.

    If you like, I can mail you the next one that I catch. :-)

  3. Anonymous3:57 PM

    I can handle anything BUT spiders.

  4. Mail me the next one...I need a new target for the range.

  5. I am not sure what's funnier, your description of Nicki's reaction or Lagniappe's. Poor little guy thought he was getting a treat only to be rewarded with a trick.

    And while I am sure Nicki can handle herself, you might want to check from now on before you lay your head down on your pillow. I hear once those spiders get in and start showing themselves in the daylight, they start getting really comfortable around your home and coming out in droves...he probably was just the "scout". :-)

  6. THAT thing is nasty.. Now i don't want to visit WV this summer OMG!

  7. Whenever I find a spider inside the house, I take outside (if I'm on the 2nd floor I just drop it out the window) and give it explicit instructions to eat as many mosquitoes as possible. [I wonder how PETA deals with that one.].

    If they eat mosquitoes, then they are a protected species on my property.

    [Remember that is was a spider who once saved the life of King David by spinning her web across the entrance to the cave in which he was hiding. King Saul, seeing that the web was covering the cave, did not go into the cave to try to find David.]

  8. That thing was gross and ridiculously hairy, and he acted like it was the coolest thing on the planet!! He's SUCH a boy!

    He also didn't mention the fact that he tried to get me into that bathroom without actually telling me what he caught. Just, "Come here! You've GOT to see this!" Knowing him, I expected a lizard or a frog or something! Not a big, nasty, hairy spider!

    And yeah, I ran out of there like a girl! Spiders are creepy.

  9. *shudder* I HATE spiders....and I most certainly freak out and scream like a girl at the sight of one - just ask my neighbor as he saw/heard me jump and scream as one climbed on me the other night.
    Kira doesn't mind them, though. She likes to paw them and eat them. I have yet to see one living insect or spider in our apartment - Kira is great at keeping it free of creepy crawly things! :)