"Old Ironsides", otherwise known as the USS Constitution, is our nation's oldest warship. Launched in 1797, she's retained her commission as an active United States warship ever since. In her long history, this ship has fought and defeated Barbary Pirates, the British and the Confederates. And 2010 will forever be remembered as the year that the Constitution whupped the damned Yuppies.
You see, the Constitution has maintained a tradition going back over 200 years, that being that twice daily, she fires a gun and plays the national anthem. I've heard it and it's a wonderful way to begin and/or close out one's day. Every American has a reason to feel proud when they hear that anthem and look upon the Stars and Stripes flying from Old Ironsides' jackstaff.
Unfortunately, this longstanding patriotic tradition--one that dates back to 1798--is now under attack by a handful of unpatriotic assholes who have recently moved into condominiums which were built not too long ago near Old Ironsides' berth at the Charlestown Navy Yard in Boston Harbor. These whiners--each of whom moved into the neighborhood knowing that the Constitution was already there--have tried to silence these ceremonies, objecting to the cannon fire and in particular to
I'm proud to say though that Commander Cooper stuck to his guns, literally and figuratively, and refused. The guns shall continue to fire and the anthem will play on.As for the jackalopes in the condos...well they can just up and move if they don't like it, preferably to another country. I'm willing to bet that they're all Obama-voting liberals anyway as any real American would feel honored to live in the shadow of that wonderful ship and no patriotic citizen ever tires of our nation's anthem.
Suck on this, you zipperheads!
USS Constitution Museum page.