Thursday, September 15, 2011

Seems like everyone's a critic...

As mentioned previously, blogger and gun-guy Keads was here visiting for a day and we did stuff.

Being the highly-trained and experienced observer of people that I am, I could not help but notice that he seemed somewhat uncomfortable as we drove through the countryside, as evidenced by his almost constantly gripping the overhead hand-hold in my SUV while grimacing and/or closing his eyes and mumbling what sounded like prayers of some sort.

I just chalked it up to something that he had for breakfast however, because the only other possible alternative was that he was uncomfortable with my driving, and that could not have been the case as I was, out of respect for my passenger, really keeping it toned down.

I hardly ever passed any other vehicles on the two-lane roads, and when I did, I made sure that I always did it in actual passing zones whenever possible. I kept my speed down close to what was posted, and I even made efforts to avoid going airborne on a couple of stretches of road that have dips sufficient to launch vehicles moving at speed.

I mean, what more could I do as a good host, right?

But then he posts this on his blog:
WARNING! If you are a victim passenger in a motor vehicle with him, use the "Oh Jesus" handrail on the passenger side. You will need it!

Aw, man...I didn't know, Keads. Honest. I had no idea that you wuz skeered. Heck, if'n I'd knowed that, much as it would have pained me, I'da backed it down even more and tried to drive like all of the mere mortal drivers on the roads who lack my special skills and abilities and zest for adventure.

I would never have intentionally made you uneasy there, Keads. Usually my passengers let me know, typically by screaming or something. But I figured that since you were all quiet over there, you were just enjoying the ride.

But like I told you when we started out, I'm an excellent driver. In fact, I haven't wrecked a vehicle since...let's see...not since I lost my leg five years back, unless of course we count that time I hit the TV antenna with the airplane, but I generally don't count that one since it was a plane, not a car or a motorcycle.

Hey, that reminds me...when you come back, we can go flying!


  1. LOL- I've never had any problems with you... oh wait, 'I' was driving :-)

  2. Bet he won't tandem free jump with you either.

  3. LOL... funniest post, EVER!

  4. In defense of Keads I'd have to say your driving is indeed a touch on the sporty side.

    I recall certain experiments in seeing just how fast a Jeep Cherokee could go...

    wv: daents. The way you drive, you've got em in your car.

  5. Hey if they don't want to ride let em walk.
    If someone doesn't like the way I drive they need to stay off the sidewalk.

  6. Oh you mean flying in THREE dimensions next time? Cool. I appreciate the fact you kept it sub light and on impulse for me dude.

    YOU had something to hang on to (steering wheel) AND knew where we were going. I had the overhead handle and a old empty bag of Murphy treats to hang on to.

  7. He's obviously never been in a high speed pursuit in your rickety Jeep. Woos.

  8. @ TomAK: That was different. He broke my mirror. But if I recall, it wasn't me who jumped out on him in the middle of that intersection. And we caught him, didn't we?

  9. I think the way you drive your next BFR I'll have to give you in BOTH the plane and the jeep.

  10. Brigid,

    He would pass the BFR in both. It all goes back to if I do it its cool. If someone else is going it they are insane!

  11. Keads just hasn't lived until he's been in a patrol car on a high speed prusuit driven by a twenty something recruit police officer that your training. It is an intresting experence. I still reflect back on the fact that of all of my recruits only one damaged my car.

  12. Brahahahahahah!!!! Been there, done that, Keads. You get used to it.