Tuesday, July 08, 2014
Dueling Loser lawsuits
In the news today: two losers competing to see who can file the dumbest lawsuit.
Fat loser number one: Andrew Rector, a 26 year old used car salesman with more chins than a chinese phone book who decided to take a nap at the ballpark only to come to the attention of a roving tv camera.
Yankees fan caught sleeping suing ESPN for $10 million
Since he was shown on the live cam sound asleep in the ballpark, Rector claims that he's been ridculed and mocked for being fat and stupid amd that his feelings have been hurt, so he's suing ESPN, the two commentators, the stadium and the New York Yankees for ten million dollars, claiming to have “suffered substantial injury” to his “character and reputation,” as well as “mental anguish, loss of future income and loss of earning capacity.”
And what's really sad is that he quickly found an ambulance-chasing lawyer named Valentine Okwara who is so skilled that his filing included statements like this one:
“These words and its insinuations presented the plaintiff as symbol of anything but failure.”
WTF does that even mean? Hey, fat, stupid guy...next time you file a totally frivolous lawsuit, at least try to find a lawyer who can speak and write in English, ok?
Oh, and apparently the guy still lives with his mom. No shocker there, right?
But Rector is not the only life failure who is abusing our courts and trying to score a quick buck off of people who don't owe them anything. He's still got some stiff competition from Jesse Ventura, the ex-wrestler and former governor of the State of Minnesota who is suing Taya Kyle, widow of murdered former Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, because Kyle told a tale in his book American Sniper about punching out a "scruffy faced loudmouth" in a bar who was running down President Bush and announcing that the Navy SEALS "deserved to lose a few men" in Iraq. Kyle never named this person but Ventura, no doubt seeing a chance for another fifteen minutes of fame, jumped up out of the chesap seats and yelled: "Hey, that was me, and it never happened!"
Jesse Ventura's defamation suit over 'American Sniper' Chris Kyle's book heads to court
Many people have noted the fact that Ventura didn't say jack about this while Kyle was still alive, but as soon as he died, killed by a fellow vet with PTSD that he was trying to mentor, Ventura quickly filed this suit against Kyle's widow, seeking a chunk of the profits from Kyle's book and a related movie that's in the works. Ventura seems to think that this anecdote, which filled less than a page in this book about Kyle's life and military exploits, somehow enriched Kyle unjustly and damaged Ventura's reputation. (Yeah, like Ventura ever had a reputation as anything other than a crater-mouthed clown.)
Again, Jesse has a lawyer who apparently hasn't warned him that as a public figure, Ventura has to prove actual malice or intentional disregard of the truth by Kyle AND he has to show specifically how he suffered harm, either of which will be difficult and combined, nearly impossible. Obviously what this was meant to be was an attempt to shake Taya Kyle down for some cash, but her refusal to just pay him off has now put him in a position where he can't win but can't back down without looking like even more of a twonk than he already does.
But just so there are no doubts...Jesse, this story of Kyle's doesn't make me think any less of you; I never thought you anything but a self-promoting jerk before this and my opinion of you wasn't affected in the least until you went after a grieving widow and the reputation of a man who did a lot more for America that you ever have or will.
When these suits are thrown out of court--and I predict that both will be--both plaintiffs and their lawyers should be sentenced to a few years of community service, pefhaps picking up litter or cleaning up graffitti, while wearing clown suits.
Tort reform, people. This is why we need it.