Fundraisers for terrorists? Only in America...

Hey, you remember those two terrorist criminals Ivy-League lawyers in New York City who firebombed a police car while wilding over BLM hooliganism, then drove around handing out firebombs to other would-be terrorists before being arrested by police and jailed?

Lawyers arrested for firebombing police car

Turns out their leftist base has been quietly raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for them, because no one who throws bombs should have to worry about paying their rent, right?

Support for Colinford Mattis Almost $340K for this mutt as I write this.

Support for Urooj Rahman Nearly $160K for this terrorista

Thousands of donors. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Money not given to charity; not to the homeless or the elderly or even "poor illegals seeking a life of free shit asylum", but money to well-to-do, privileged bomb-throwing, crowd-endangering terrorists. How do we stop this shit?

Fortunately they're facing federal charges with mandatory minimums and I see prison and disbarment in their futures, but knowing the un-American Left, as soon as these two get out they'll land university professorships or some other prestige position just because the people who hate America despite benefiting from living here always take care of their own kind.

Me, I vote we deport them to Ethiopia in exchange for a couple of random immigrants who want to come here and at least try to be good Americans.

Destroying your career on Facebook and other "Stupid Lawyer Tricks".

So baby lawyer Leslie Anderson (Admitted to the NJ Bar in December, 2014.) Just taught herself a hard lesson by posting stupid comments on a news forum regarding the line-on-duty death of New Jersey State Trooper Anthony Raspa, who was killed May 30th when his cruiser struck a deer and went off the road into the woods.

As flags went to half-staff across the state, and as thousands of other law enforcement officers from across the country came together to mourn Trooper Raspa and support his family at his funeral, Leslie Anderson, Douchebaguette extraordinaire, was busy posting snarky comments on the news stories about the trooper, stating that his death was "Not that sad and certainly not 'tragic'". And she didn't stop there. When other commenters expressed sympathy for the trooper's family, Anderson replied: "I agree that it is sad and heart wrenching for the family members left to suffer the consequences of the Trooper's recklessness — especially for the deer family who lost a mommy or daddy or baby deer."

And it wasn't just those two posts. She went back and forth with mourners and critics of her posts at length, Saying such things as: "Only in America is this considered a tragedy," and "The outcry and ‘thank yous’ are absurd, nonsensical, and completely unwarranted. There are people in this country and around the world dying for much less. There is nothing ‘tragic’ about this. Get over yourselves and your sense of entitlement, people."

I don't even pretend to know what this nasty troll of a girl's problem is, but she has other problems now. It seems that her Facebook and other social media pages identified her as a law clerk to Middlesex County Superior Court Judge Travis Francis, and when the public outrage over her comments got back to the court, she was suspended with pay for two weeks pending an investigation. And subsequent to that, Leslie, for whatever reason, resigned from her job entirely.

My thought is that she was probably pressured to resign, and frankly I'm good with that. I agree with Chris Burgos, president of the New State Troopers Fraternal Association, who stated that Anderson, via her blatant display of hatred for Trooper Raspa here, cannot be trusted to perform as an impartial officer of the court. Damn straight, I say.

So as it stands now, Anderson's legal career just took a chop to the knees. Normally, a clerkship is a major resume enhancer and a stepping stone towards a high-paying job. But being forced to resign from one, especially in such a public manner...well that can't be good. Frankly, I don't see too many top-tier firms looking to court her onto their partner tracks now.

Of course, this being Obama's America, I'm sure that she'll soon be deluged with offers for various "community organizer" positions with countless left-wing groups. But hopefully this story, kept alive on the eternal internet, will at least keep her out of academic, government and public policy positions, at least until she grows up.

RIP, Trooper Raspa.

Attorney Todd Levitt, More Proof That A Lawyer Who Represents Himself Has a Fool For a Client.

In Michigan, a rather thin-skinned lawyer by the name of Todd Levitt sued a 21 year old college kid for making fun of him on Twitter...and lost.

‘Badass Attorney’ Todd Levitt Loses Libel Suit, May Need New Sense Of Humor

Levitt, an attorney who appears to make his living by hanging around Central Michigan University and soliciting minor criminal defense cases from college kids who get in trouble, has marketed himself to the college kids by describing himself as a "bad-ass attorney" on social media and posting about his own fondness for using alcohol and marijuana.

Real professional, right?

At some time last year, a college student named Zack Felton, age 21, put up a parody Twitter account that made fun of Levitt and his plea-bargain mill sole-practitioner law firm, apparently in response to some of the dopey things that Levitt himself posted on Twitter and Facebook. Felton made it very clear that his site was NOT intended to be anything other than a parody of this Saul Goodman wanna-be lawyer and even posted multiple disclaimers telling people as much.

Levitt, not amused, shook his fist in the air and screamed out the battle cry of the modern American Liberal: "I'll SUE you!"

And sue he did. You can read the entire filing here.

The case made it as far as the courtroom of the Honorable Paul Chamberlain, who looked at the facts of the case, including the fact that young Mr. Felton made it very clear that his site was NOT intended to be anything other than a parody of this Saul Goodman wanna-be lawyer and even posted multiple disclaimers telling people as much. Judge Chamberlain then looked deep into his law books and found a little thing called "The First Amendment to the United States Constitution". Applying that, he determined that young Mr. Felton had a right to publicly lampoon Levitt and his alleged practice of law, and he then tossed Levitt and his frivolous lawsuit right out of court.

Levitt is now claiming that he will appeal.

"This is not the end of my case," Levitt said. "It's just the beginning. In some ways, this is a case of first impression that needs to go up to (a) higher court."

Yeah, Todd. You're right. No one has ever litigated that First Amendment before. I'll bet that the Supreme Court tosses that whole Constitution just as soon as they take up your case.

Moron.

Meanwhile, Felton's parody Twitter account, which hadn't posted in months, jumped back to life after the court ruling.

"Motion for summary disposition granted," he wrote. "Levitt v. Felton is over. Parody lives on!"

Another Tweet took one last jab at the attorney.

"Rough day at the office," Felton wrote. "Lost another case... maybe the new 'Better Call Saul' will give me a boost."

If I ever get in legal trouble in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, I'll be sure to call Attorney Todd Levitt...and ask him for Zack Felton's phone number.

Disclaimer: This is not an actual picture of Todd Levitt.

This is Todd Levitt.

Oh--and during discovery, he was forced to admit that he created a website appearing to rate lawyers and used it to give himself an award for being "College lawyer of the year", which he then used in his own advertisements.

Mt. Pleasant lawyer suing student admits to fake award, marijuana tweets


I'd call him a jackass again, but we're to the point now where it would be considered libelous...to jackasses.

Screwed By Your Attorney?

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Another Illegal Sues America After Getting Hurt Smuggling Drugs In.

So here we have Jose Manuel Marino-Najera, one of Obama's "DREAMers"...just here to work, right? And this nice gang of drug smugglers offered to help him get into our country if he'd just carry some of their dope...

And now he's suing us all because, while he was here illegally, bringing dope into our communities, a Border Patrol dog bit him.

Man who crossed border with drugs sues U.S. after claiming Border Patrol K-9 mauled him

First of all, I don't buy his story for a second. Just sleeping when a dog walked up and began chewing on him? Doubt it. That's not how police K-9 dogs work. But the real bite here is the fact that this guy, after being convicted of his part in the drug smuggling and serving six months in jail for it, was never deported and is still in our country! (Thanks Obama and Boehner!)

And sincesewage flows downhill, it's not surprising that he'd find fellow scumbag attorney Bill Risner, who appears to be only too happy to turn on his country and help enrich a border-hopping, drug-smuggling foreign national.

In a perfect country, we'd have a huge border fence running the entire length of our border with Mexico, and we'd have some big catapults to flip illegals like Marino-Najera back over the fence and into Mexico again after they finish their jail terms...and sell-outs like Risner and the losers who buy narcotics would get tossed, too.

To my lawyer friends

You know who you are.

Credit: Pearls Before Swine.

Dueling Loser lawsuits

In the news today: two losers competing to see who can file the dumbest lawsuit.

Fat loser number one: Andrew Rector, a 26 year old used car salesman with more chins than a chinese phone book who decided to take a nap at the ballpark only to come to the attention of a roving tv camera.


Yankees fan caught sleeping suing ESPN for $10 million

Since he was shown on the live cam sound asleep in the ballpark, Rector claims that he's been ridculed and mocked for being fat and stupid amd that his feelings have been hurt, so he's suing ESPN, the two commentators, the stadium and the New York Yankees for ten million dollars, claiming to have “suffered substantial injury” to his “character and reputation,” as well as “mental anguish, loss of future income and loss of earning capacity.”

And what's really sad is that he quickly found an ambulance-chasing lawyer named Valentine Okwara who is so skilled that his filing included statements like this one:

“These words and its insinuations presented the plaintiff as symbol of anything but failure.”

WTF does that even mean? Hey, fat, stupid guy...next time you file a totally frivolous lawsuit, at least try to find a lawyer who can speak and write in English, ok?

Oh, and apparently the guy still lives with his mom. No shocker there, right?


But Rector is not the only life failure who is abusing our courts and trying to score a quick buck off of people who don't owe them anything. He's still got some stiff competition from Jesse Ventura, the ex-wrestler and former governor of the State of Minnesota who is suing Taya Kyle, widow of murdered former Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, because Kyle told a tale in his book American Sniper about punching out a "scruffy faced loudmouth" in a bar who was running down President Bush and announcing that the Navy SEALS "deserved to lose a few men" in Iraq. Kyle never named this person but Ventura, no doubt seeing a chance for another fifteen minutes of fame, jumped up out of the chesap seats and yelled: "Hey, that was me, and it never happened!"

Jesse Ventura's defamation suit over 'American Sniper' Chris Kyle's book heads to court

Many people have noted the fact that Ventura didn't say jack about this while Kyle was still alive, but as soon as he died, killed by a fellow vet with PTSD that he was trying to mentor, Ventura quickly filed this suit against Kyle's widow, seeking a chunk of the profits from Kyle's book and a related movie that's in the works. Ventura seems to think that this anecdote, which filled less than a page in this book about Kyle's life and military exploits, somehow enriched Kyle unjustly and damaged Ventura's reputation. (Yeah, like Ventura ever had a reputation as anything other than a crater-mouthed clown.)

Again, Jesse has a lawyer who apparently hasn't warned him that as a public figure, Ventura has to prove actual malice or intentional disregard of the truth by Kyle AND he has to show specifically how he suffered harm, either of which will be difficult and combined, nearly impossible. Obviously what this was meant to be was an attempt to shake Taya Kyle down for some cash, but her refusal to just pay him off has now put him in a position where he can't win but can't back down without looking like even more of a twonk than he already does.

But just so there are no doubts...Jesse, this story of Kyle's doesn't make me think any less of you; I never thought you anything but a self-promoting jerk before this and my opinion of you wasn't affected in the least until you went after a grieving widow and the reputation of a man who did a lot more for America that you ever have or will.

When these suits are thrown out of court--and I predict that both will be--both plaintiffs and their lawyers should be sentenced to a few years of community service, pefhaps picking up litter or cleaning up graffitti, while wearing clown suits.

Tort reform, people. This is why we need it.

Sometimes being stupid has consequences.

Can't say as I feel sorry for this pinhead...nope. Not one bit.

Man must pay $489,000 after false distress call

A couple of years ago, Danik Kumar of Sandusky, Ohio, thought that it would be cool to call the Coast Guard and report seeing a fishing boat with four people on board sending up flares on Lake Erie as he was flying a small plane overhead. Both the US and Canadian Coast Guard responded, mobilizing 70 people and sending out three boats, a helicopter and a fixed-wing aircraft to search. Eventually they called it off, and when they pressed Kumar, he finally admitted that he lied and said that he kept reporting it because he didn't want to sound stupid and ruin his chances of becoming a Coast Guard aviator.

Well it's probably a safe bet that he'll never get that job, especially after he was convicted of making a false distress call, after which the judge sentenced him to three months in jail and ordered him to pay a whopping $277,000 to the U.S. Coast Guard and $212,000 to the Canadian Coast Guard to cover the cost of their Search and Rescue efforts.

And like everyone who takes full responsibility for their actions, Kumar appealed this sentence to the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati, arguing that it was too harsh. But bless that 6th Circuit, as they came back with a 2-1 ruling that said that although the ruling is "an onerous burden on the shoulders of a young man," U.S. law was intended to deal harshly with hoaxes to help deter future ones.

The government's prosecutor, Michelle Baeppler, argued that Kumar needed to be held responsible for every cost associated with the search, from the gas used in the boats and aircraft to maintenance and depreciation costs incurred from their use.

"His claim that he should only have to pay for a few items ... is truly a simplistic and naive notion of the cost involved in conducting a search and rescue operation," Baeppler wrote.

And that's the honest truth. What if one of the Coast Guardsman had been injured or died during this search for someone who was never in trouble? What if someone else called for real help and died because the Coast Guard was out of position? How do you put a price tag on that sort of loss? That's why the penalty for this sort of stuff is meant to be a swift kick in the junk--to make the next guy think twice before faking a distress call.

Still, Kumar's lawyer, Edmund Searby, sheds tears for him, because in liberal lawyer-land, people like Kumar are the victims, not society. Searby said Kumar had to drop out of Bowling Green State University's aviation program and is figuring out what to do next.

"Danik's dream has long been to be a pilot, but it's unclear now whether that dream can be realized," Searby said. "I'd hate for it to end like this."

Speaking as a pilot and one who frequently flies over that part of Lake Erie, I'm not bothered by this guy not being able to occupy the same airspace as me. I depend on that same Coast Guard should I ever have trouble on those flights, and while I hope that I never have to call upon them, I'd hate to think that if I ever needed to reach out to them for a quick response that they were busy elsewhere chasing shadows cast by some punk kid for kicks.

Yeah, it's a heck of a fine he's got to pay, but then again, stupid is supposed to hurt.

Lawyers can even mess up aviation

Not long ago, I mentioned these cool sunshades that I got for my plane as a Christmas gift.

Not only do they look snazzy, but they keep the sun off of the radios and other instruments and prying eyes away from the interior contents.

However, when I went out to fly yesterday, I took a good look at the interior label on these sunscreens and realized that even here, in this environment, some skeevy tort lawyer had left a mark.

Really? An actual instruction to remove this windscreen sunshield before flying the plane? This suggests that somewhere at some time, someone was actually retarded enough to try to fly with something like this in place, and upon failing, that someone no doubt found a slimy tort lawyer to sue whoever made the sunshield. And now, because of some past stupid legal action or fear of a future one, I have to put up with an actual manufacturer's instruction telling me to do something that is so obvious that even an Obama voter should be able figure it out.

Sigh.

Kids today (sigh...)

In today's "Frivolous Lawsuit" section, we have the case of Megan Thode, a girl just starting out in life who nonetheless takes with her a reputation as a whiner and a daddy's girl which, in this internet generation, may well follow her for decades to come.

Megan was a student at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania. She was there seeking a master's in counseling and human services, a program that would have conferred upon her a license as a professional counselor had she completed the coursework satisfactorily. But alas, little Megan did not perform satisfactorily in one of her classes, earning only a C+ in a course that required a B to move on to the next level. Per her evaluation, she was unprofessional, swore in class, and at one point had an "outburst in which she began crying".

Now in my day (and most of yours, I suspect), the student would have met with the course advisers and worked out a plan for improving the student's performance, then repeated the course as necessary. But not poor little Megan. You see, Megan Thode is a special snowflake who deserves to graduate no matter what, so Megan showed up for her meeting with the faculty advisers, daddy in tow, and demanded to know not what she had to do better, but to be given a higher grade, a written apology from the teacher, and financial compensation from the school for not passing her as was her right.

Lehigh University student sues over grade, seeks $1.3 million

Oh, and did I mention that despite all of the fuss, Megan isn't even paying for her schooling? You see, her daddy is a professor there, so Megan was going to school tuition-free, both through undergrad and grad school, and the university was also providing her with jobs, which they continued to do even after she filed her lawsuit.

The lawsuit, by the way, seeks 1.3 million dollars, which is what Megan feels she would have earned over and above her present salary had she not then quit the program that she'd been in and taken another free masters degree in a related social worker field.

Now not only does Megan need and deserve a swift kick in the ass from the Boot of reality, her father, Lehigh finance professor Stephen Thode, and her scum-sucking shyster lawyer Richard J. Orloski, deserve one, too. In a perfect world, the three of them would constitute the night shift at the local McDonalds until they learned to appreciate actually earning their way through life instead of just leeching and sponging off of the producers and taxpayers.

I want my professional license NOW, Daddy!

Carjacking goes wrong when punk picks a boxer as his "victim".

You just can't make this stuff up.

Former Kronk boxer fights off carjacker

A 22 year old punk tries to rob a man twice his age only to have the man--a former professional boxer--beat his ass and take his gun.

Not sure what's funnier in this story: The robber demanding his gun back from the victim, claiming that he has a CCW, or the judge's classic response to the punk's lawyer.

Defense attorney Jonathan Jones argued that his client shouldn't be charged with carjacking because he didn't have the gun on him at one point. But Judge Shannon A. Holmes replied, "The reason he didn't have the gun on him is because the defendant got his butt whipped, and Mr. Turner took the gun from him."

Pure comedy gold right there...and justice.

Stupid Lawyer Tricks: Climbing into a trash compactor

I could make a jibe about her being "trashed" or "smashed" but it just seems too easy after reading this report about Margaret Baumer of New York. Besides, it's already been done:

A Recent Cardozo Law Grad Gets Trashed — Literally

Yep. Brainiac attorney Maggie Baumer, fresh from a night of drinking, staggers home and realizes that she gave her apartment keys to a friend. Now rather than call that friend and ask to be let in, Maggie, being the bright, considerate sort that just every law firm races to hire, buzzed all of the apartment doorbells until some thoughtless moron let her into the building. Then she got the bright idea to try to get into her building's courtyard VIA THE TRASH CHUTE so that she could force her apartment's window open from there.

Cue trash compactor in three...two...one...

Sigh. Some people are so stupid that it's almost a shame when they survive stuff like this, because it means that they'll continue to roam the world, doing more stupid stuff and maybe even passing on the stupid via procreation. But Maggie survived after the fire department responded and spent 45 minutes wrecking a perfectly good trash compactor to free her arm. I kinda hope that the landlords take the repairs to it out of her security deposit, just because she was so stupid.

But hey, stupid must work for the law firm of Goldstein & Lee. Personally, I think if I ever need a lawyer, I'll stick to law firms who hire people a little brighter than Maggie.

As for law students everywhere, you might expect to see a story problem like this one on your next Tort Law class exam:

"One night, "Margie", who is intoxicated, falls into the trash compactor at the Blackacre Apartments after sliding headfirst down the garbage chute during an attempt to break into her own apartment from the courtyard, which she believes she can access from the building's cellar. Margie was locked out of her apartment and the building because she gave her own keys to a friend but managed to gain entry to the building by randomly pressing tenants' doorbells until someone just buzzed her in. As a result of her encounter with the trash compactor, Margie lost the use of her right arm. Discuss Margie's possible claims for damages against: The Landlord, the tenant who buzzed her into the building, the bar where she got drunk, the manufacturer of the trash compactor, the city fire department, the hospital, and/or her own parents (for raising such a nitwit). This state uses the Pure Comparative Fault rule in Tort cases."

21 Maine Zumba Prostitute Customer Names Are released

For those who might have missed it, authorities in Kennebunk, Maine, recently busted the town's Zumba instructor, Alexis Wright, and her business partner, Mark Strong, on charges relating to Wright's alleged side job as the town prostitute. Making matter more interesting is the fact that Wright and Strong kept records and videos of Wright's interaction with her customers sufficient to allow the police to identify over a hundred of them, with rumors going around that many are well-known townsmen, including politicians, doctors, lawyers, police officers, fire fighters, and even a local TV personality. Many of those men are now being charged as well, and this sparked a quick round of court challenges by an attorney for two of them who fought to keep their names secret even as they were criminally charged.

Well our founding fathers had a problem with secret trials, which is why such matters surrounding criminal cases are public, so I've been watching this one as the attorney, Stephen Schwartz, did his best to convince the courts that his clients and others being charged were somehow "victims of the crime of invasion of privacy".

Really Stephen? That was the best you could come up with? Wow.

Well not surprisingly, that didn't work, and yesterday the judges released the names of the first twenty-one "johns" being charged. The men charged this week include:

Gary Bahlkow, Jens Bergen, Norman Crepeau, Joseph Cuetara, Kenneth Fairbanks, Donald Hill, Monie Hobbs, David Kline, Robert Labonte, Dale Madore, Paul Main, Harry McMann, Kevin Pagliccia, Claude Palmer, Philip Parker, Colin Powers, Clinton Ray, James Soule, John Verreault, James White and Peter Wormell Sr.

Police said they plan to release the names of other individuals charged in the case in “batches” as they become available. The process, they said, could take months.

I had no real reason for re-posting the names other than it amused me to watch this play out and see such a pathetic legal argument crash and burn. Personally I can't find a reason to argue for keeping such commercial activities between two consenting adults illegal, but since it is illegal today and these guys all knew it when they rolled the dice (and allegedly Alexis Wright), I don't have a lot of sympathy for them.

Zoey Ripple, 2012's Obamagirl

For those of you who don't follow the news from the People's Republic of Boulder in Colorado, Zoey Ripple pled guilty to first-degree criminal trespass charges today, not quite six months after she wandered into the home of a sleeping couple while in a drunken state, confronting them at 3:30AM as they awoke to find her in their bedroom.

Zoey was probably unaware of the fact that the female homeowner was a psychiatrist who was being stalked by a dangerous mental patient, another crazy female who Zoey may well have resembled, especially there in the dark in the victims' bedroom. The stalker threat was one reason why this couple kept a loaded pistol in their bedroom, and when Zoey refused to leave or even stop walking towards them after several warnings, they shot her dumb, drunk ass.

Fortunately, Colorado has a "Make My Day" law which shields law-abiding citizens from prosecution or civil litigation in cases where they act in good faith to defend themselves. This at least means that Zoey cannot run to a cheap awyer and try to further victimize these people by demanding that they pay her money after she pretty much forced them to shoot her.

Today, little Zoey, who had just graduated from some undoubtedly useless course of study at University of Colorado a couple of weeks prior, pled guilty and was handed a sweet-heart deal: an 18-month deferred sentence that means that if she stays out of trouble for the next year and a half, even this felony will be removed from her record.

Now let's look at a few things here that make me think that this plea offering was inappropriate: Zoey, at just 21 years of age, had a BAC of 0.2, which is two and a half times the normal legal limit for driving (0.08). This is also her third arrest, with a prior for shoplifting (also eventually dismissed due to a deferred sentencing agreement) and another unspecified alcohol-related offense. Clearly daddy's little snowflake just isn't getting it. Finally, we see Zoey emerging from the courtroom today not remorseful or apologetic, but now claiming that it wasn't her fault at all because someone else "could have given her a date-rape drug" that might have left her unable to comprehend what she was doing on the night that she walked into the house of two total strangers. Of course she didn't want to go with this at trial but rather stood up in court and formally admitted that she'd done what she was accused of (required for a plea to be accepted) and then with the risk of jail time gone, she ran right out into the hallway, got in front of the cameras, and basically took her plea back by making the claim that it was all probably someone else's fault.

And of course the lawyer that daddy rented, Colette Cribari, stood right there beside her and complained about the way that this makes Zoey look.
"She's been portrayed as this dumb drunk who wandered into someone's house," she said. "This is not who Zoey Ripple is."

Uh, yeah...that's exactly who and what she is; she's a dumb, binge-drinking, responsibility-avoiding spoiled girl who turned an innocent couple's life upside down and who still refuses to acknowledge any responsibility for her actions or the harm that she caused.

Predictably for Boulder, the judge bought it and refused to give her any jail time or even community service.

And as for precious little Zoey (who the hell names a kid "Zoey" anyway?), She hopes to travel to Peru, when she is allowed, to continue working with a program that helps professional development for women.

"I've learned so much from this incident," she said. "I hope this can continue to be a lesson for other people."

Somehow, I'm not thinking that she learned a damned thing. And I'm willing to bet that we read about her in the papers again before too much longer. Kids like her never get it. But sadly, many of them vote, and as she seems to have Obama's ethics to a fault, I have no doubt as to who she'll be voting for in November.

Rebecca Kessler shows how 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

So Kevin Hirsch, a lawyer, offers to sit on his phone all day and get other people qualified for a game show in exchange for some of any potential winnings. (His practice must really be doing well if that's all he can find to do during business hours, eh?) Rebecca Kesler, another lawyer, agrees. Due to Hirsch's efforts, she gets on the show and wins some cash, but then welshes on the agreement. As usual when lawyers are involved, litigation ensues. Lots of it. Eventually even the judge gets pissed. Sanctions follow.

Game show brouhaha ties up courts, costs lawyers friendship

This is why it takes so long for regular people with actual cases to get before a judge--idiots like these two are frequently wasting tons of the court's time.
In this case, the judge comes right out and calls Kesler both a liar and incompetent.

Judge David Parrott, who has presided over the case since its beginning in 2009, lost his temper in July after Kesler made what he considered yet another faulty legal argument.

"Your argument is frivolous — again," Parrott yelled. "It is devoid of all arguable legal merit. I can't believe you are that monumentally incompetent. I've had it with you."

The judge goes on to say:

"I find the defendant's position so incredible that no juror would accept it as true," he said.

Ouch. That's a professional opinion that every lawyer wants on their CV, right?

Finally the first lawyer wins a judgement but Kesler colludes with her husband to hide all of her assets in his name to keep from paying. And she continues to request more court hearings. Ethical much? Who would ever consider hiring a lawyer like Rebecca Kesler? After reading this, I would not hire this woman if I was stranded on a desert island and she had a boat.

Loser sues gun range over "Ladies Day" promotion

And by "Loser", I mean fat-assed security guard and cop-wanna-be Derrick Hunter, who just filed a $200,000 lawsuit against Maryland Small Arms because the range let women come in and shoot for free on the day that he showed up and had to pay the standard $15.00.

Derrick Hunter sues Maryland Small Arms Range over 'Ladies' Day" promotion

Oh, and his lawyer? James "Jimmy" Bell filed a suit like this a couple of years ago himself when a nail salon charged him $2.00 more than they charged a woman. Now aside from the fact that he's a sleazy shake-down artist who abuses the court system to try to extort settlement offers from businesses, I have to publicly question the masculinity of ANY male who goes to a nail salon and gets his nails done.

But as for Derrick Hunter, I don't consider him much of a man, either. Any time that a security guard refers to him/herself as a "Special Police Officer" (because that's how the District of Columbia still classifies them) instead of just looking sheepish and saying "yeah, I'm just a security guard..." I summarily dismiss them as a pathetic Mall Ninja. Heck, dude's probably just butt-hurt because none of these women would give him so much as a pity-date.

In any event, I hope that Maryland Small Arms, which is a pretty class place, exercises their right to do business with anyone and bars Paul Blart Derrick Hunter AND his cheap lawyer from the premises for good. I also salute Maryland Small Arms for it's efforts to bring more women into the shooting sports.

Stupid lawyer gets Stupid Criminal Award.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Las Vegas police recently began hearing rumors about a lawyer having sex with female inmates at that Clark County Detention Center. They set up a hidden camera in an interview room used by attorneys to talk with their clients and busted Curtis Cannon, a Las Vegas criminal defense attorney, after the video revealed that he'd been "behaving inappropriately" with an inmate named Crystal Wallace. Both were interviewed after the act in question took place and denied it, but then when told of the video evidence to the contrary, they both fessed up. Wallace, already an inmate, caught new charges, and Cannon got his status changed from "jail visitor" to "jail inmate" pending his own arraignment. No word on whether or not he called his wife to post a bond.

I'm thinking that Cannon's likely to be needing legal representation of his own soon, both from a defense attorney and a divorce lawyer!

Hee!

It begins. First Colorado shooting lawsuit...filed by an UNINJURED person.

Here we go, folks.

Some loser named Torrence Brown Jr. who was reportedly at the theater that got shot up in Colorado last week has found an ambulance-chasing shyster in California by the name of Donald Karpel and together they're bringing suit against the theater chain, the movie studio that made the Dark Knight Rises movie, and any doctors that they can identify as having treated the shooter for anything.

CO shooting survivor threatens to sue studio, theater

In other words, it's a shotgun play suing anyone and everyone who might have some money on the chance that one or more parties will offer a settlement to get them to go away. It's scummy, it's appalling, and it's a preferred tactic of the modern-day nutless man and the Trial Lawyers Association.

Making this one all the more disgusting is the fact that Brown wasn't even injured. He ran out of the theater and didn't even suffer a scratch, but now he's claiming that he's "traumatized".

Hell, that's nothing that a few dozen good swift kicks in the junk won't cure. And as his lawyer, Karpel is entitled to every third kick in his junk. Oh, and Karpel should be sanctioned for bringing an obviously frivolous lawsuit. This is a punishment that bad lawyers are supposed to get but seldom if ever do, mainly because they are overseen by other lawyers.

Thanks to Borepatch for the punishment idea.

Finally some judicial common sense as frivolous lawsuit is thrown out.

So rare that it actually makes the news.

Judge Dismisses Wrongful Death Suit Against Staples Center

This case centers around a toddler, 2 years old, who fell more than 30 feet from an open skybox at the Staple Center in Los Angeles after his mom propped him up in front of the railing then stepped back to take pictures of him.

Let me say right here that I feel bad for the death of the child, and the parents have my sympathy for that loss, but in no way in this universe do they deserve a big, fat paycheck as a reward for their own negligence in setting the child on the edge of that fatal drop and moving away from him. And the court agreed, stating that there wasno negligence on the part of the defendant, Staples Center, or their architect, who was also named.

"The court finds that the defendants did not owe a duty to the plaintiffs to properly supervise Lucas to prevent him from falling from the luxury box suite," Bryant-Deason wrote in a two-page ruling. "The court finds that it was not foreseeable that Mr. Tang and Ms. Nguyen would place Lucas in an openly and obviously dangerous situation by putting him on top of the beverage bar where it was easily foreseeable the he could climb over the tempered glass and fall."

The judge also said the couple's lawyers did not show how anything arena officials did or failed to do caused the boy's fall.

No, there was no negligence by the Staples Center. This was a tragic incident to be sure, but it doesn't warrant millions of dollars and a subsequent life of luxury for the parents who did cause it. If anything, I think that justice and equity would dictate that the parents spend one day a week lecturing new parents on child safety for the next 18 years. But that's probably why I'm not a judge.

Naturally, as per later news stories, their scumbag lawyer promises an appeal. He wants his share of that life of luxury.

Suing a kid? Seriously?

And this is why people hate lawyers and call for tort reform.

New Jersey woman sues kid after getting hit by baseball at little league game.

OK, so getting hit with a ball sucks, but $500,000? It doesn't hurt that much, lady. And the husband joining in, essentially claiming that his wife isn't as much fun in bed anymore, is just as ridiculous.

The end result is that the kid and his family suffers, and they have to pay even to defend themselves against this abortion of a lawsuit--thousands of dollars that they won't get back even if they prevail.

In my opinion, Elizabeth Lloyd, her husband, and their scumbag shyster lawyer Riaz A. Mian all need to be staked out in front of a pitching machine fr a few hours. And I'll be only too happy to keep feeding it quarters.