Lagniappe tries to burn down the lair

My dog is trying to kill me.

No, it's not an idle suspicion. He actually almost burned the house down this morning. But I caught on and ended his obvious attempt at a coup. I half suspect that he figured that with me out of the way, he could sleep on the couch, drink out of the toilet, and eat all the peanuts that he wants. But he was foiled when I smelled the smoke.

It all began when I let Lagniappe in from the back yard. He usually blows in like a November gale as soon as I open the door, racing full-blast through my library and into my living room before trying to execute a 180-degree turn to run back into the library again. This is apparently fun for him and he'll run back and forth several times as fast as he can, skidding on the hardwood floors or sliding on the area rugs as he hits them full-bore and tries to change direction. Since the area rugs aren't taped down, the rug just slides across the floor in the direction that the dog was going when he landed on it and put on the K-9 brakes. Inevitably the rugs wind up bunched up against the far walls as this 90lb tornado rockets back and forth from room to room half a dozen times.

Well this time one of the rugs wound up bunched against one of the electric basboard heaters. I didn't notice this, and of course Lagniappe didn't say anything about it or try to fix it. He just finished running and went to lie on his perch on the landing part-way up the stairs to the second floor.

A few minutes later, I smelled something burning. Now that's not an uncommon smell around here, as anyone familiar with my culinary abilities can attest. But this time I was concerned as I hadn't been trying to cook anything. A quick check of the living room revealed the rug up against the heater, with the bottom of the rug just starting to singe.

So I moved the rug and averted the impending catastrophe. Then I called Lagniappe an ass and he gave me back one of his "I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I?" looks.

So I sighed and took a minute to sit down with him and explain the concept of fire, the dangers of fire, basic firefighting for dogs 101, and the fact that if I and the house burned up, the food, the couch and the toilet that he likes to drink from would burn up too, along with his beloved stuffed frog, his precious tennis ball and his rawhide chew.
I think I got through to him with the threat to his frog. He loves that frog.

But I'm taping the rugs down today just the same.