Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I was set up!

So I'm sitting here, minding my own business, when I get this e-mail from my church asking if I can help out with a project tomorrow.

Having nothing better to do, I agree. Besides, it's for the church, right? That's like helping God. How do you say "no" to God?

Turns out the project involves getting a rental truck and driving down to southern Maryland tomorrow morning to pick up some furniture. OK, I'm good with that. I used to be a truck driver back in my college days and I can handle that. I still have my collection of Jerry Reed and Johnny Cash tapes around here somewhere. We're good.

Of course it entails running down I-270 and around the Beltway in morning rush-hour traffic, but I've made worse runs in my time--and it's for the church--so I accept the job. I'm the guy.

Then I find out that the minister will be riding down with me in the cab.

While I drive a truck in rush hour traffic.

Surrounded by oblivious idiots, morons, and dumbasses in cars.

Anyone who has ever ridden in a car or truck with me knows how vocal and descriptive I get when it comes to people who can't or won't pull their heads out of their asses and drive right.

And the minister will be sitting right next to me.

I might as well just go straight to Hell tonight. I'm so doomed...


  1. So i guess you are driving your own bus to hell? hahhahaha!!! I hear ya my friend.. I would be ashamed of me if i had the listen to me when i'm driving with the morons.. lol

  2. I live in the DC area, and feel for you! I'll think of you on the beltway biting your tongue while I'm taking my 5 min. all
    side-street drive to work!

  3. I'll pray for you. Being one of those who has ridden shotgun with you before, methinks the good minister is about to have his vocabulary seriously expanded.

  4. That's even worse than when I was getting a haircut, and my rabbi sat in the barber chair next to me.

    I had to behave myself.

  5. Bwaaa haaa haaa haaa!

    If you drive over the old US 441 bridge over the Potomac, the preacher will probably be saying some profane things, himself. Scary damned bridge.

  6. Good luck. I'm sure you can behave for the minister. You can just swear twice as much on your next drive in traffic.

  7. Hey I did good. Only called one driver a Motherf@#$er the whole time. Normally I do more than that just going to the 7-11 for my morning papers.