Saturday, July 09, 2011

Mom orders fake alcohol drinks for her kids, calls police when they actually contain alcohol

In today's "News of the Stupid", we have Pamela Bruenning of Longmont, Colorado. Pamela decided to take her three kids ages 8,6 and 1 to Chili's bar and Grill the other day. (And we all know that every adult who goes to Chili's really wants to dine in a room full of kids, right?)

Well Pamela, being a trendy sort of mom, orders "virgin daquiris" for her kids, because it's so much cooler to buy fake adult beverages for them than it is to give them milk of fruit juice or even soda pop. Well surprise, surprise, but the drinks were accidentally made with alcohol like real daquiris. The result: the children took sips, announced that they "tasted bad", and refused to drink any more. Mommy Dearest took a sip, recognized the rum taste immediately, and complained to the manager who apologized, brought over new drinks, and comped the entire meal for everyone.

This should have been the end of it, but the next thing you know, she's calling the police and the media, doing interviews, and hinting at a lawsuit even though the police dismissed it as being a simple mistake, unworthy of criminal charges.
Police used a breath-analysis test on the kids to determine their blood alcohol level, but the readings were negative, police reported. Bruenning said her children successfully completed field sobriety tests.
OK, aside from the question that poses, (how do you get little kids to perform SFTS?)it seems that Pamela is seeing dollar signs now, so she's doing her best to whip up the outrage of anyone who will side with her and no doubt hoping that no one will remember that she's the one who insisted that her pre-teens all get fake alcoholic drinks in the first place at a place that has plenty of other beverages for kids, including regular fruit smoothies (daquiris without alcohol or daquiri mix).

As a side note, Pamela has a profile on Etsy where she twice talks about drinking alcohol in the one paragraph that she uses to introduce herself to the world:
Sometimes I picture myself as an old man in a cigar room with an Old Fashioned, communicating with a general slur and sway. Transparency fascinates me, especially when it's tinted, like pool water. I love fine papers and book binding. I buy way too many pens, & think calligraphy has a certain, "je ne se qua". A good beer, or an even better wine, and a sky full of stars is the best inspiration for anything.

Pamela, it sounds like you're the one with the alcohol problem. Back away from the cameras and consider looking for an AA program instead of a sleazy lawyer.


  1. She lives in Boulder County - why are you surprised?

  2. Ummm........ way to be a wacko. The kids who genuinly were served alcohol by mistake and drank it were younger and had ordered things that would not have ever had alcohol hence the outrage. You run that risk when you order a virgin anything and she should have checked them before allowing her kids to drink if she was so determined. She went in looking for a mix up and a pay day. Bleck.

  3. WSF beat me to it... sigh... WACKO!!!

  4. Anonymous7:10 PM

    ditto w Old NFO & WSF

    That attitude is a requirement for residency there

    - x-Longmont rez
    (aka Q)

  5. Chili's has a kids menu with a number of appropriate items including "fruit freezies (slushies)" That is not what she ordered from.

    She told police she ordered virgin Daqueries. The server and initial order confirmed it. Only when SHE called the media did the story change to "she ordered smoothies".

    Frivolous lawsuit launching. . one. . . two. . .three. . . .

  6. She also needs to brush up on her French.