No, this post isn't about Kaci Hickox, the attention-seeking "nurse" and Typhoid Mary imitator who refuses to avoid any chance of infecting others with Ebola since coming back from Africa. Yes, her constant whining and serial press conferences and her veiled insinuations that any attempt to quarantine her is merely a Republican plot definitely warrants a public face-punching but I suspect that Karma will come back around in the form of countless rejected job applications since Americans in general don't care for someone who fights hard for the right to spread diseases to the rest of us.
No, this post is about a little spoiled princess from New York named Casey Nocket.
Little Miss Nocket, age 21, spent some of daddy's money on a vacation out west. Miss Nocket, whose life ambition is to be a graffiti "artist" (more commonly known as a "vandal" anywhere outside of a few big blighted cities), traveled around the west, painting graffiti on rock formations in at least eight national parks, including Yosemite National Park, Death Valley National Park, Joshua Tree National Park, Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado National Monument, Crater Lake National Park, and Zion National Park and Canyonlands National Park. (It also looks like she hit Sequoia National Park and the Grand Canyon, too now, but that still hasn't been officially confirmed.) These parks in California, Oregon, Arizona, Utah and Colorado (see map of defacement here) are some of the most scenic public lands in America, but to this punk, they were just canvases where she could whip out her paint set and draw lame pictures, complete with her personal tagline, "Creepytings". Owing to the remoteness of and the distance between the places that she vandalized, it took some time before the nature community realized the extent of the defacement and traced it back to Casey the suburban whitebread wanna-be hood-rat from New York. Of course once they began talking about her and contacting her directly, she took to her social media accounts to mock and taunt anyone who was upset by her actions. She responded to her critics by saying that "it's art, not vandalism" because she is an "artist". Even worse, her mother and others around her took to the internet to applaud Casey for her "creativity".
Folks, this is why New Yorkers (with a few exceptions) are about as welcome in real America as Kaci Hickox would be at a daycare center. But I digress...
Finally, the National Park Service Law Enforcement got involved, and they are presently investigating and compiling estimates of the cost to properly remove the paint from the rocks. The case is reportedly being brought to the US Attorney for criminal charges, to the applause of practically everyone in America save Nocket, her family, and a few other graffiti punks. Naturally, once that word got out, Nocket's relatives have begun explaining that she now has "considerable remorse" for her actions. My guess? The remorse is only that she has been publicly outed and now faces the prospect of prison time, especially if the government charges these acts as felony vandalism, which I hope that they do. A clue as to the sincerity of her remorse could of course be divined from one of her last social media posts before she took her tumblr account down. In that post, she laughed about how she's going to change the focus of her "art" from scrawling on national monuments to defacing tombstones in cemeteries because they'll supposedly still get her publicity without landing her in as much trouble.
21 years old, jobless, and traveling the country wrecking other peoples' things just for the attention. Yeah, she deserves to be punched in the face on live TV on behalf of America, and her parents need to be right up there next to her getting punched as well.
Better yet, maybe she should be locked up in a shipping crate with Kaci Hickox. Then we could send the crate one-way to Liberia and be done with both of them.