Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What's that dog got, anyway?

I can't help but notice that everyone who comes here seems to stick up for Lagniappe no matter what he does, and express the attitude that he's never at fault for anything.

Well it would be nice if that were true, but I'm telling you all that it's not. Yeah, he can do a pretty good impersonation of a nice, mellow well-behaved dog sometimes--like he's doing here in front of the stove--but appearances can be deceiving and that's really not how he usually is.In fact, all you have to do is search this blog for other articles about him and you'll see that he's quite the hooligan.

I know that most readers recall how when I was stuck on the roof, he wouldn't help, but there was also the time that he kept messing with me when I was painting the Lair.

It also wasn't too long ago that he busted a hole in my plastic window covering because there was a cat in the yard. I'm still pissed about that one.

Now I will give him credit--he does help around the kitchen. But I suspect that it's more from a desire to get the food than from any sort of dog altruism. And I still don't trust him completely ever since I caught him trying to burn the Lair down.

But he's got other hobbies, too.

He flies.
He shoots cannon.
He vomits on people.

I'm telling ya, folks... life's never dull with a German Shepherd around. He's my buddy, but sometimes I'm tempted to trade him for a goldfish then flush the goldfish.

And I hope now that ya'll have seen what he's really like, you'll quit taking his side all the time.


  1. haha!! Too funny!! It sounds like Kira and him have been trading ideas back and forth. I swear, between the both of them, I am surprised one of us hasn't strangled our dogs! ;) If Kira wasn't so cute.......

  2. Anonymous8:46 AM

    But just remember He Loves You!

  3. yep he loves you no matter what kind of mood your in, nor the shit day you have had. He is quite the personality, I'm sure, but you would miss him if he wasnt around..
    one question.. can you please phonetically spell his name so I know how to pronounce it? I love reading your blog but I cant figure it out!

    The Bird.

  4. Oh hes just a dog, they live in the moment and are always happy to see you no matter what mood you are in. Bless him. I agree though, they can be trying and a handful, but loyal to the end..
    enjoy him good bad and all, because when they go its like having your right arm cut off, trust me on that.

  5. His name is pronounced Lan-yap.

    It's creole french from Louisiana. It means "A little something extra".

    And yeah, I think I'll keep him.

  6. Your life would be so boring without him!

  7. In defense of the dog. He has confided in me his version of the events.

    1. It was entirely your fault that the ladder fell. As a matter of fact he did immediately plan to attract your female neighbor hoping for a resuce and a reward but he wasn't aware of her " engagaement".

    2. You simply ignored his basic need for attention and when he attempted to signal this to you via " non intrusive " methods, you rebuffed him. Feeling that there was no other recourse he did resort to his basic insctincts. He did also CHOOSE to run after the stick but only to appease you.

    3. Again, his animal instincts override his human training. He was also defending you against a possible attack by this ( and potentially other) members of the ferocious feline family.

    4. He truly shined here and saved the house from burning down while his master ( presumably you ?) were goofing off in the basement. And what thanks did he get ? I have advised him to contact a lawyer about a possible civil remedy for his hurt feelings.

    5. In his mind , he was merely paying you back for his feeling unappreciated for #4. Had you properly compensated him for his heroic deed , he may not have acted in a reckless ( but tort free) manner.

    I have advised him to speak to you no further regarding #5 as he is under no obilgation to speak to you without legal representation present.

    Very Truly Yours, Lagniappe's Advocate.

  8. I know this dog. No worries. vHe'll waive anything and everything for a Milkbone or a pig's ear.

  9. Sad doggie owner, do you need a hug??

    J/K/.....I love you and your dog;)

    Maybe the dog a little more...

  10. Anonymous4:35 PM

    you left a comment on my blog about rebel dawg being Korean BBQ.......... And using a bat........ me thinks you gave him a whack or two to get him to be so calm.........By the way i have a great Korean BBQ if you want to donate that meaty dog.... roflmaooo

    hugss to you and the dog that eats and lives like a king.

  11. Ilsa says he has the looks of Clark Gable, the demeanor of Jimmy Stewart and the smell of Oscar the grouch. Who could resist?

  12.   After further consultation with Mr Lagniappe , he is willing to accept your low offer of either a milkbone or a pig's ear but under the following circumsances...1.  One of the two each day. 2.  Said treat is to be followed by a 20 minute " chase the stick" workout. 3. Minimum of 6 visits a year to the ice cream shop at Harper's Ferry.  In the event the shop is closed , you must choose an alternate site that provides similar sustinence. 4. Reruns of Lassie and or Rin-Tin-Tin each night.  Min 30 min.  GOOD westerns are a acceptable substitute.5.  Prior to bed , a 5 minute belly rub performed in reasonably close proximity to the wood stove ( October-March) with it producing heat.   If you are willing to abide by all of the terms of this settlement and agre to maintain it's confidentiality...this case is then settled.

  13. Ilsa, so you've met him? Got description.

    Mcsap, he already gets all that stuff and more, except that he prefers to fetch and wrestle over his stuffed hedgehog than chase a stick, and he likes to watch NCIS and COPS on the TV weekday evenings. And because I'm nice, I indulge him plus give him more table scraps than a dog should get, not including a 15% of any popcorn that gets popped here.

    He also gets released at least once a week to chase the neighbor's cats when the neighbors aren't around. What more could a dog want?

  14. Anonymous10:51 PM

    I am thinking he needs to get laid??? what do ya think? Might calm him down a bit.......... lmaoooooo

  15. Just thought Lagniappe would like to know about a contest that The Humane Society of the U.S. has going on for cutest dog.

    He'd definately be a contender! And entering him would probably go along way to easing his bruised ego after having such a posting done about him. Plus maybe get him a girlfriend or 2 to help out with the comment above.

    Hank has already entered:

  16. Why.


  17. I empathize. Life with a too-smart-for-his-own-darn-good Lab is similar!